What Isn't Meant To Be

End

End.

Elliot and I have been friends since we were in seventh grade. I went to the same private Catholic school as she did. We were in the same section until Senior High School.

I knew her as someone who was very competitive, was worried about her academic performances, and was engaged in a lot of school events. She hates it when someone goes beyond what she is capable of doing because she gets disappointed in herself. But I knew her as someone who, even if she lost, kahit nasasaktan sa loob, would still clap for others and use the takeaways learned from defeat to beat them in the future.

Maybe for her, mas importante ang takeaways keysa maging bitter over something that are probably not meant for her.

She gets frustrated and disappointed even by little mistakes, yet she moves on too quickly. That's what I like about her. That's why the 13 years old Zakari Fajardo had fallen head over heels for her.

As I've gotten older and been with Elliott for almost 5 years, I see her as a brave woman-the kind of brave woman that guys were always willing to kneel in front of to get her attention and have their feelings reciprocated. She's the kind of brave woman I'd always be willing to lose to as long as it's her doing it.

But I had no idea that behind her bravery was a weakness she was afraid to admit about.

"Zaki, hello? Nasaan ka na? Nasa dagat ka ba?"

"Nahanap ko na si Elliot. Tatawag ako ulit maya-maya, " I told Zariyah, my twin sister, older than me but only for 5 seconds.

"Sure ka ba? Ikaw na bahala sa kaniya ha at Ihatid mo! Hindi pwede mag-commute 'yan!"

"Oo na nga. Alam ko naman."

Zariyah is Elliot's best friend. Naging mag-kaibigan sila ni Elliot before us. But in all honesty, nagagalit siya pag magkalaban kami sa mga competition na sinasalihan niya kaya minsan hindi ko maiwasang magtaka kung magkaibigan ba talaga kami o karibal ang tingin niya sa akin.

I chuckled a bit at my own thoughts. Elliot doesn't know how much I like seeing her lose her cool whenever I compete with her. I don't know if she's threatened or ayaw lang niyang makitang matalo ako.

I came back to my senses and started moving forward to get closer to Elliot. She is lounging in the sand with her feet in the water. Yakap niya ang mga tuhod at hinahayaang mabasa ng dagat ang uniporme niya. She doesn't seem to mind, as if she's drowned out by her own thoughts.

Tumigil ako sa paglalakad at hinayaan siyang mapag-isa. Nasa bandang likuran niya lang ako at parang hindi naman niya naramdaman ang presensya ko dahil nanatili siyang nakatingin sa dagat.

She's the bravest person I know, much braver than I think, yet I didn't realize she could be this weak.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mga pinagdadaanan ni Elliot. She used to stay silent whenever something happened and we couldn't make her tell us why. She disappear and every time we find her, nasanay na kami na hindi na magtanong pa.

Her safety is already enough for us. But I hope that whatever she's going through alone, sana alam niya na there are people around her who will always be open to hearing about anything she wants to say, no matter how long it takes her to speak out.

I let out a long sigh. My heart's aching at the sight of Elli.

Nang makaupo na ako sa tabi niya, agad siyang napatingin pero hindi na nagulat.

"Sabi ko na nandito ka lang, eh, " I smiled.

"Lagi mo naman akong nahahanap, " marahan siyang tumawa. "Ayaw ko munang umuwi, Zak. Dito lang ako..."