Saving Mar

12 SAFE

"It's... complicated," Jon mumbled as Erika was leading him through the corridors. Thankfully, she knew his ship almost as well as her own, since they were twins, and picked the places they were least likely to bump into the crew.

"Isn't it always," she sighed.

She had the most effective way of getting him to talk: complete silence. Jon could usually only keep his mouth shut so long before that beast started sucking words out of him.

"Okay, I'm attracted to her," he grunted after a full five minutes of no dialogue at all. "But she's not the easiest person to get to know. She's all quiet and mysterious, has a dark past and trust issues. I can't afford focusing on her and her deal when I have a ship full of people to worry about."

"Ah. I get it. She makes you horny, which makes you mad, because you think you can't satisfy that need," Erika nodded. "Isn't it a hormonal issue, then? Wouldn't it help if you'd just... got it out of your system? Perhaps she'd be on board."

Jon thought about it for a minute, basking in the sweet image of two bodies writhing in unison. But then he imagined having to let her go after... His heart shrunk.

It seemed his interest wasn't so superficial, after all.

"No," he exhaled. "I don't think it would."

"Huh," she raised her eyebrows. "So it's more than that. But the Jonathan Archer I know is married to his job. Has anything changed in the few weeks we haven't seen each other?"

"Not that, either," he shook his head. "I just... I don't even know what she thinks. She's hard to read. I mean, this ship is full of great people. Like Malcolm."

"But just thinking about it makes you jealous, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. I hate it."

"Well," she smiled. "I guess the best thing you could do right now would be to just... talk to her. Mysterious or not, she's just a person. And you're not a young boy anymore. Sure you can withstand the possible rejection like a man."

"Sure," he shrugged. "But... what if she doesn't reject me? What if she says 'yes' and it all turns into a huge emotional mess? Or worse – what if she says 'no', but gives off all the subtle 'yes' signals, and trying to decipher it and decide what to do about it will keep me awake at night for weeks? Ugh."

"Wow, she really did a number on you," Erika chuckled softly. "You ever worry about that with me?"

Jon felt like she'd just laid a giant steel trap in his path.

"Yes?" He chanced it. She just laughed and slapped his shoulder.

"Still an awful liar. Which is one of your best qualities, to be honest," he patted the muscle she'd just hit in a silent apology. "Seems to me this 'mystery' around her might be what's making you this hooked up. What if you just help her get her people back and see if that unravels it? Maybe when you see that she's just a woman, it'll come down to whether you like her as a person. Then, perhaps, you won't be so afraid of her answer?"

Jon let out a gulp of anxious air, actually relaxing. It sounded like good, down-to-earth advice. That was one of the things he appreciated about Erika. She had always been first and foremost a friend; the benefits were just that.

"Thanks," he finally smiled. "This really helped."

"I'm glad," she beamed. "Now let's go get something to eat before we end up in a firefight with the Orions. I'm starving and I'm a shitty captain on an empty stomach."

.

Refreshed by the honest conversation, Jon found it a bit easier to focus. Which was a good thing, as they'd finally picked up a faint signature of a ship somewhere in the distance in the direction they were headed. It appeared to be Orion, but they were still too far to be sure.

Then he made the mistake of telling Mar about it.

"I need to go with you!"

Jon's head fell back and he let out a strangled roar. Mar was on a load of painkillers, but instead of dulling her and putting her to sleep like she needed, they seemed to have made her forget she was injured. She got worked up as soon as he refused to let her tag along, almost jumping off the biobed in her hospital gown.

"You are in no condition to go on an away mission! I can't have you on my conscience."

"They are my responsibility, Captain!"

He understood that angle. Were it his own people, he would've felt like a caged lion if he were prevented from doing something about it.

He took a few deep breaths to calm down, watching her watch him with a very pointed gaze.

"As long as you're on my ship," he exhaled slowly, "and receiving my help, they are also my responsibility, Mar. You can trust me to do my best to save them."

She paused, her metaphorical ruffled feathers settling down a bit.

"That's not my only concern," she frowned. "I don't want you on my conscience. You're getting into some deep shit you clearly know little about, and the only people you're taking with you are similarly ignorant."

She wasn't wrong about that. Jon wished he had more inside information than what two humans, a Tellarite and an Andorian were able to put together. Tracking the ship was the easy part – negotiating with an enemy without proper knowledge about them could be treacherous.

"We'll do just fine," he attempted his best worry-free smile.

She squinted at him. "Anyone ever told you how bad a liar you are?"

Jon rolled his eyes. "Not always, alright? Depends on the situation."

"Well, I bet your wife can read you like a PADD," she smirked mockingly, tilting her head to the side.

Jon's guts clenched the moment she dropped those words: 'your wife'. Was she trying to find out if he was single? Was that a hint?

He needed another few deep inhales to keep his face from speaking volumes.

"I'm not married," he decided to tell her.

It wasn't a secret. Whatever she planned to do with that information, this was the smallest step towards any kind of intimacy that he could afford for now. The smallest and most innocent.

"Huh," was all she said in response. She leaned back just a little, her facial features ironing out. What was that supposed to mean?

"So, are we agreed?"

"Hell no," she bristled again. "I'm coming with."

"You won't be much use to us as a kettle, Mar," he groaned, pointing to her immobilized arm. "Please, be reasonable."

"I am reasonable," she barked. "You need my insight and I need all of you to come back in one piece. It's simple. Nothing you can do to stop me."

"Actually, all I have to do is not help you into a shuttle," he shrugged. "You will stay here. You need to heal. But you can use the comms in case we do need your advice."

"You can't keep me here."

"Watch me."

Something in her stance changed. It was so slight and subtle, he wouldn't know how to describe it. Angry, but open and trusting, turned to closed off and cautious. It sent chills down his spine.

"You would restrict my freedom, Captain?"

Her voice was suddenly low, quiet. Jon felt like he'd stepped over a line he didn't know was there. Shit. He was going to lock up a former slave. A woman whose hard-won trust he'd only just received. The reminder was as painful as a fist to the gut. His eyes shut of their own accord as he was cursing at himself internally.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, keeping his eyes closed. "Of course I wouldn't. I'm only trying to talk some sense into you, for your own good."

He felt a warm hand on his elbow and his eyes flew open. She was giving him a serious look, but no longer seemed scared of him.

"You will be by my side," she said softly. "I will be safe."