gaze of the ray

chapter 1

I've been struggling to live this fucking life
  I wouldn't lied for being tired...

"Andy! Sandali naman,hintayin mo ako...Hooy!psst...bruha ka!" natatawa na lamang ako kay ea habang tinatawag niya ako

She is my only friend,my best friend...at gusto ko sana siyang maging independent kase,she always rely herself on me, and I  hated it,paano kung isang araw ay mawala ako?not the term na tige, patay hah!..walang ganon,kahit anong pinagdadaanan at pagdadaanan ko pa, there's no way,of thinking to give up...

"ang kupad kupad mo kase maglakad,para kang pagong!"ani ko ng makalapit na siya,bali hinantay ko siya sa waiting station sa tapat ng school,alam ko kase na hindi pa siya marunong mag abang ng masasakyan,ewan ko ba may bulbol na siya't lahat dipa marunong.

"Bruha ka!ikaw nga itong ang bilis bilis maglakad,parang hinahabol lagi yung oras,at bakit hindi mo na pinapansin si lucas hah?akala ko ba good terms na kayo,anyare teh?"ayan nanaman siya.

I remained silent, ayaw kong sabihin sa kanya na that bastard is a fucking two timer!wala naman sa mukha ang pagiging gago he is like a gentleman,wala sa mukha ang pagiging cheater.
kahit na nanliligaw pa lang siya ay hindi pweding dalawa ang nililigawan niya for the fuck sake,right?

"May ganap noh?bakit hindi ka kumikibo dyan?!" Exaggerated na wika niya.

"Wala,sinabi ko lang na tumigil na siyang manligaw kase,ano-"

"Ano nga?may pa thrill-thrill pa, spill the tea andy" her eagerness to know the answer,makes me want to hide the truth, kung naiinis ako ngayon dahil nag timer yun, mas grabe siya,parang siya yung na two timer pag nagkataon.

"Ea wala okay,sinabihan ko na siya na tumigil na sa panliligaw sapagkat napagtanto ko na ayoko pala sa kanya."i made my face serious to cover up my lies, okay lang naman yun, whitelies will never be a sin?

"Eh? Sabi na e,bruha ka.sana sinabi mo na ng mas maaga ,ano, pinatagal pa ah,pinatagal pa?ilang months ng nanliligaw yun sayo?kawawa naman!kawawa naman si baby lucas!hmmp kalbohin kita diyan e!" She said while raising her left eyebrow. I stop myself from smirking,these reactions and emotions she was showing was priceless,funny.haha

"Can you please low your voice?, andami ng naka tingin sa atin oh!dika ba nahihiya?pag dika tumigil diyan,ipagkakalat ko na type mo si sir bernard!wag mong testingin ang pasensya ko ah! LEONA EGNACIO!" I said jokely,since we were still at the front of our school,and i hated the facts that ea is vey noisy,and it annoys me.

"Hoy babaeta ka,fyi!hindi ko crush si sir bernard ah,ang tanda na nun,kadiri ka!ilang taon pa lang tayo oh at we are only sixth grade in highschool, at isa pa kahit yummylesious siya, I'll never like him!" She said it like she meant it,well not me leona,i known you for a long and we'll see.

di ako naniniwala sa kanya,at hindi naman ganon ka tanda si sir bernard,the fact that he is a practice teacher in fourth year  highschool,and he seems like in his late 20's.nasa indenial stage pa lang kase ang ateh niyo.

"Ewan ko sayo,halika ka na nga,yun lang yung sinabi ko, ang dami mo ng sinatsat dyan." I said as i make a gesture to call a tricycle to get a ride.

"Totoo naman e, mark it on the rock,never and ever talaga!"

"Fine sabi mo e, Mrs...Lorenzo,pfffft haha." I said and continue to mocks her,alam ko na naiinis na siya, dahil dina siya nagsasalita and that's the thing I knew,I won.

A few minutes later,the tricycle stopped to give ea a land, actually were not in a same brgy, she was farther away from me,despite that, we still making our way to meet each other, included our semester breaks too.

"Thanks poo," she said it in the driver then turn her sights on me

"And bye-bye andy,see youu tomorrow!" She said that while rolling her eyes,i know that she just joking so i just nodded at her and gave her a mocking smile.

After that moment, the tricycle starts to move,at ang kaninang masayahing mukha ko,ay napalitan ng ibang emosyon,ang emosyong hindi ko maipaliwanag.

As the tricycle begun to stopped, I ready my heart and mind to witnessed how messy the environment and neighborhoods are.

This alluring place are nothing when you have them as your surroundings.

Napapa-iling na lamang ako sa mga pumapasok sa isipan ko,pero yun naman talaga e, if you were in my shoe, you would gonna said it too.

Pagka apak ko pa lang sa aming tahanan, ay feeling ko pagod na ako, at this age my mind got matured not fully matured but enough to understand anything,and it really sucks.

malayo ang loob ko sa papa ko,sa mama ko ay medyo close ngunit,ayoko ng ugali niya,her guts and foul mouth makes me hates her,her mouth is like a needles that make my heart aches.

Pagkatapos kong gawin lahat ng mga gawain sa bahay ay agad akong nag linis ng aking katawan, that's a routine i often does whenever I came from school.

I did all the chores,lumaki ako sa hirap kayat alam ko lahat ng mga trabaho,mga pagkakakitaan ko at habang dipa ako nakakapagtapos ng SHS at wala pa ako sa legal na taon,so i will just endure this hardships i experiencing and all the oncoming agony I'm gonna experience soon would be upheld.