Tainted Innocence

C H A P T E R 2

“Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced.”
– Soren Kierkegaard

♪

Leilani

Matteo and I spent the whole night chatting and catching up. Apparently, college is even more like school. At first, I couldn't understand why Matteo would want to attend more school until he told me about all the parties he went to and all the new people he met. As he continued the conversation, slowly I found myself being consumed with envy. I wanted to party. I wanted to make new friends. What about me? I thought.

Our conversation slowly finished and Matteo wished me a goodnight by kissing me on my forehead before leaving my room. Shortly after that, I felt myself being consumed by sleepiness. The last thought in my head before going to sleep was, why couldn't I have friends?

♪

I woke up later that day to chatter coming from downstairs. I immediately felt left out. I get up from my bed and walk into my bathroom to brush my teeth. I look into the mirror and undo my ponytail letting my curly hair fall into an afro. I close my bathroom door and head downstairs. Instantly I'm greeted with the smell of breakfast.

I was never a breakfast person.

Mamá knew this, so this had to be for Matteo.  I turn the corner to the kitchen and I'm immediately met with mamá cooking and Matteo sitting on the island, even papá is there standing beside mamá with a smile. Both are ignorant to my presence, in their own little world. I sigh before sitting down next to Matteo. Everyone's eyes snapping at me except for papá. "Oh hey Leilani, when'd you wake up?" Matteo asks with a smile.

I knew his question was genuine but I couldn't help but feel bitter.

Did nobody notice me at all?

Brushing it off I returned the smile "I woke up around 9. How did you sleep?". Matteo responds to my question, going on about how sorry he was for waking me up last night. His mouth continued to move and his hands waved around animatedly, but I wasn't listening.

"Today we have to go into town." Papá voice boomed over Matteo's chatter. I nodded my head while taking a sip of my coffee.

Papá was well-known around town. I didn't know exactly why, but a lot of people looked up to him, followed him almost. It was quite weird but I didn't say anything, after all that's how I was raised. "Why?" remarked Matteo before taking a bite of his bacon. Papá looked at him "To celebrate my son coming back, I'm sure everyone would love to see you, Matteo." Papá responded looking at Matteo quizzically. As if daring him to say something else. Matteo just nods and continues to munch on his bacon.

"Am I going into town too, papá?" I asked looking up at him. I really wanted to go I needed some human interaction. Papá must've sensed this because he answered with a curt no. He always tries to crush my plans. I looked at him with a pleading look but he only kept staring at me, not backing down. I lost eye contact and muttered a "fine", before getting up and helping mamá wash the dishes.

"Mamá, you should convince him to let me go," I said to her. "I don't know honey, it's not safe out there." I looked at her with a pointed look. " Ma, I grew up in this town how bad can it be? Plus papá and Matteo will protect me. Please just convince him." I said brushing her shoulder and looking up at her pleadingly. She sighed "Fine ok, but be safe mija."