The car crash

chapter 13

As night descended upon us, I made my way toward my sons' room to tuck them into their cozy beds. However, as I reached the door, I saw Amanda taking care of it all - she was already engrossed in reading them their favorite bedtime stories and making them laugh with her silly jokes. For a moment, I leaned against the doorframe, watching her as she effortlessly filled the dimly lit room with joy and happiness. It was hard to believe that it was the same Amanda who had buried my brother not too long ago. Yet, there she was, still brimming with life and love, lighting up our world.

"Daddy," Matthew says, his voice piercing the silence and immediately capturing the attention of both Micheal and Amanda. Amanda smiles at me mischievously, and so do the boys, as if they were sharing a secret.

"You guys should go to bed soon," I suggest, noticing the time. "Before, well, I can hear the monsters under your bed getting restless and hungry," I add with a playful wink. The boys' faces immediately light up with excitement and anticipation, but at the same time, they bury their heads under the cover, pretending to be scared. I laugh at the sight of their little white-knuckled fists clutching the blankets.

As I turn to leave the room, Amanda emerges from the room, nodding her head in a silent invitation for me to follow. As we walk down the hallway, I can't help but feel the warmth of Amanda's hand in mine, and the thought of the boys safely tucked in their beds fills me with a sense of utter contentment.

We step inside her room, the air still and heavy with anticipation. As she shuts the door behind us, I notice the sound barely registers above the frenzied beating of my heart. She stands there, doorknob in hand, her back facing me. Her brown hair cascades down her back, teasingly close to brushing against her derriere.

A tremble emanates from her voice as she whispers, "I'm sorry." It's as if she's holding back tears, and I want nothing more than to wrap my arms around her and kiss her worries away.

Her apology catches me off guard. I know what I've put her through, and she doesn't deserve any of it. "No," I whisper, taking a step closer. "I should be sorry. I dragged you into this mess, and you never asked for any of it."

She turns her head, her eyes searching for answers in mine. I feel her confusion, and I know I can't fix everything, but I can start by apologizing.

"What? Are you talking about the body?" she asked, her voice low and serious.
"I mean, yeah? What else?" I answered, a sense of unease settling in my stomach. She looked at me with knowing eyes as she turned to face me fully.

"I thought you killed him because you found out," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper.

"Found out what?" I asked, feeling a chill creep up my spine. She was scaring me.

"Wyatt," she said, her voice barely audible, "He was having an affair with your wife."

The words hit me like a ton of bricks, and I threw my head back in disbelief. My mind raced with thoughts of betrayal and anger as I tried to process what she had just revealed. I had trusted them both, and they had betrayed me in the worst possible way.

"Get out!" I barked, my voice low and dangerous. I could feel the anger boiling inside of me as I yanked her towards the door. She resisted, her voice trembling with desperation. But my patience was wearing thin. I pushed her against the wall, my grip tight on her arm.\

Her words cut through my anger like a knife, and my eyes widened in shock. I couldn't believe what she was saying. My heart raced as I tried to make sense of her words. But before I could respond, she was interrupted by my own accusations.
"You're lying," I spat out, my voice laced

with venom. "You just want to break us up because you're jealous."

As I pressed my nails into her arm, I saw her grit her teeth and let out a guttural grunt. Her eyes bore into my own with a mix of fear and hurt. But I couldn't back down now

"Please listen," she cries out in despair. Her voice quivers as she struggles to put her emotions into words. "You didn't see the things you were in a coma! They... they did unspeakable things. They kissed, hugged, and did everything that lovers do," she bursts out. "I saw them doing it in a closet! For fuck's sake, how can you not believe me?" Her eyes are filled with tears as she pleads with me to understand.

But I don't believe her. I can't wrap my head around the thought of my partner cheating on me. "I'm not lying," she adds, her voice barely above a whisper. "Look, look at Matthew," she points out.

I snap. "Don't you dare bring MY son into this!" I scream. The room falls silent as she stares back at me with a mix of resentment and sadness, and I feel a wave of guilt wash over me.

"His features stand out like a sore thumb - stark blue eyes that gleamed like ice and hair as dark as chocolate." With a quivering voice, she let out words dripping with accusation, "He doesn't look like you! Nor does he look like your wife. You tell me...who does he look like to you? Who else has blue eyes and brown hair?" Her words hit like a ton of bricks, leaving me trembling with shock and disbelief. My hands and arms shook uncontrollably as I tried to come to terms with the truth.

As I struggled to comprehend the situation, Amanda took a step forward with a look of pity on her face. "She's having an affair, Wyatt. And it's possible Matthew isn't your son" With a gasp for air, she let her words hang in the air, leaving me to grapple with this devastating reality."

I hastily wipe away the salty droplets that had unceremoniously escaped my tear ducts. My feet lead me out of the room, but it is not just any room, it is the room of a boy who holds my heartstrings in his little fingers. Matthew is sleeping soundly and I perch myself tentatively on the edge of his bed, his peaceful form belying the turmoil in my heart.
I have known this little cherub since he was a mere speck in his mother's womb. However, the doubts that have been plaguing my thoughts consume me. Could it be that he is not mine? I can barely entertain the possibility, but the similarities between him and Benny,  are undeniable. As I trace my fingers along Matthew's face, I am struck by the familiarity of Benny's nose, Benny's eyes, and Benny's mouth. They are like identical twins - my heart constricts with emotion at the thought.

I knew I had to find out the truth, no matter the cost. Racing down the hallway, my eyes searched frantically for Jolica. And there she was, outside, puffing on a cigar. My heart dropped; she looked grave as she glanced up at me.

"Is he mine?" I blurted out, searching her face for any sign of confirmation.

"What- what are you talking about? Who are you talking about?" Jolica stuttered, trying to hide her expression.

"Matthew!" I exclaimed, my frustration mounting as I felt the weight of the truth settling onto her face. And then, like a tonne of bricks, it hit me – the realization that everything I thought I knew was a lie, and I crumpled to the ground, feeling paralyzed and betrayed.

The world around me melted into a blur, as her desperate pleas clawed at my mind. The excuses came tumbling out in a never-ending stream, each one more brazen than the last. I could feel my grip on reality slipping away as my fingers instinctively found their way to her neck.

"Please, Wyatt! I never slept with Benny!" Her voice was choked and strained, but even as she begged for mercy, I couldn't help but think she was lying. She was always lying to me, I knew it deep down. She was a liar, and this was just the latest in a long line of deceptions.

The struggle continued for what felt like a lifetime, but eventually, she fell silent. The pressure in my hands had become too much for her to bear. And then, suddenly, it was over. I dropped her limp body to the ground, gasping for air.

For a moment, I stood there in stunned silence, my heart pounding in my chest. But then, as the realization of what I had done began to set in, all the air rushed out of me. I had lost control of myself, and now...now there was no going back.