Our prettiest mistakes ever made

Chapter 1; The Ex

Sometimes I’d like to think we all have some problems stuck in our heads, I’d like to think we all are but aren’t the same at the same time. I mean, we all have problems but they’re not the same.But I still think mine are different,what would you do after seeing your ex at the beach ? Maybe shoot your shot, or go to the other side of the beach, or maybe go to a different one. But that’s if you’re averagely a normal person. Not like me, I guess. Me and my ex had a strange love story, a strange toxic one actually. He was eighteen, I was sixteen. Our ages weren’t what mattered though, even if his parents thought that he shouldn’t be dating a minor. My parents they didn’t even know I was in a relationship, In their eyes, I was too perfect for this kind of wasting of time. The perfect daughter was only a title for me in their minds, but in reality I was the total opposite of that shit. His name was Alexander, he was a big attractive guy physically, but mentally, he was a complete dirty cry baby. We knew each other when I was fourteen, and him sixteen, his parents didn’t know about us, not until two months before our breakup. Most of the time we were a long distance relationship, but every summer we would meet and act like the craziest people in love. The first time we met was on a summer vacation my parents organized for my fourtheenth birthday. I’d liked to say it was the best summer of my entire life. Everything was perfect, and most of that perfection was because of him, the guy I’ve seen the first time at the beach, throwing a ball over and over again at a dog –probably his—he looked so handsome, every part of him, from the very top of his hair to the very bottom of his toe. His hair was sandy and wavy with some blonde curls, his eyes were light brown, and I really couldn’t stop looking at him, at the shape of his body, the strange sparkles in his eyes and the beauty of his hair, that guy was perfect, he was the kind of guy I’d see at airports and hope I’ll make one eye contact with them knowing I’ll never see him again. But not this time, he was infront of me, a yellow bracelet tiyed to his wrist, meaning he has a house in here, meaning he lives here. Unlike me, a blue bracelet tiyed to my wrist, meaning I’m only renting a house in here templorary, for a week, actually. I was happy to know I’ll see this guy for a week, I didn’t mind talking to him or anything, I was too delusional for that. Seeing him play with his dog was enough. Because, despite my love for romance books and romance movies and romance in general, I didn’t belive in it. Only if it meant falling for a fictionnal man, obviously. But he was the guy I’d imagine while reading a summer romance book.
I didn’t realise I was staring at him until his eyes caught mine. I immediatly turned around and walked the way of my house, after a few steps, I turned to see if he was still there, and he was still staring at me.
         That was the first day I’d seen Alexander. We kept making eye contacts that evening since I saw him near our house hanging out with a guy, and his dog. I was outside the house waiting for my parents for us to go have dinner somewhere.
Eventually, I realised he was living in the house next to mine. But the most shocking part was that the day after ( The second day of me there ) he came to me asking for my name. He also said he would love to make me visit the place, I ofcourse agreed, and it was the best night of my life. I didn’t regret sneeking out with him without my parents knowing. He took me to all the pools in there, they were like ten different pools, unfortunately, they were all closed because it was already 9 pm. Then he took me to get ice cream, and we sat in the wet grass and talked, while eating ice cream. After that, he took me to a party of teenagers in someone’s garden, we stayed there almost two hours, I got to know alot of people and that Alexander was very popular and knew a lot of people. Probably the reason he came to talk to me. Finally, he took me to the beach, and cause it was 11 pm, I was really scared, it was pitch dark and there was no one in there except us. It was really cold, and I really found it weird when Alexander gave me his hoodie. Was I in some kind of dream ? I thought to myself back then. But it was reality, and such a beautiful unreal reality.
           The other five days were tipically the same, except I got to know more and more about Alex each day. And when the seventh day had come, I remember, I was feeling really upset. But Alex and my other new friends comforted me, and he gave me his number telling me we could talk everyday and that he’ll miss me too. The last thing he said was « I hope I’ll see you next summer », and that only sentence got me thinking, really hard. All the drive back home, all the week, or all the month back home. I realised I started to like him, very much. More than the first time I saw him. Our late night conversations and calls proved me that. Maybe I loved him even. I couldn’t stop thinking about his laugh, how his eyes would sparkle every time he’d see me, how his hair would dance with the wind everytime he’d take me to the beach. He was more than attractive, his personnality was lovely, everything about him seemed perfect. And then thinking about this, I wanted to ask my parents something, something big for them, but if they’d say yes, would be the whole world for me.
I asked my parents if they could buy the house we went to this summer. In first, they said no, but then, one holiday a had for winter, they said we were gonna travel to the same place we went to in summer to see if they could negotiate the price of the house. It was one of the rare times I felt genuinely happy. I directly texted Alex and he was as excited too, wich gave me butterflies.
When I got there, me and Alex spent the whole time together, when my parents asked me where I’d go, I’d make something up, like I went to get ice cream or look at the slient waves, those weren’t lies though, I did all of this, but always with Alexander. That winter was aslo the best winter in my life, because my parents bought the house next to Alex’s and Alex confessed his feelings for me saying he wouldn’t mind having a long distance relationship with me. Was I dreaming ? Probably. Was this a nightmare ? Yes. I developped an unhealthy obsession about him. Until the next summer, in my fifteenth birthday. When I got there, I knocked on his door, a black haired guy answered, I got scared at first,I thought he selled the house or something.  But the guy introduced himself as Alex’s cousin. He wouldn’t let me in, but Alex got out himself with a blonde girl. I thought it was also his cousin so I asked her but she said « Actually, I’m his girlfriend. ». At first, I stood still, thinking it was some kind of dumb joke, but then, whitout realising it, i looked at Alexander’s cousin, and I knew it wasn’t a joke. I was familiar with the look he just gave me, a pity one. I turned around to leave when Alex started to speak, but I didn’t want any stupid explanation. It was clear he and I were nothing. Maybe he even came to talk to me in the first place as a deal he made with his friends, like seriously a guy as attractive a him wouldn’t be taken? Or maybe I just got cheaten on.
That summer, I spent it alone. Alex didn’t mind texting me either. Everytime I’d pass him and his group of friends they’d start laughing. Were they laughing about me? Surely. Or maybe it was just my anxiety and the voices. I felt sad that my parents bought this summer house just for me at the end to want to go back home. I shouldn’t have told them to buy an entire house just because I thought I’d fallen in love with a boy I thought was perfect. The only person that never laughed when I passed by though, was his cousin.

And now, here I am, In the very same beach my ex first told me that he loved me. I’m sixteen now. And I don’t want him to think I still haven’t moved on from him. Because I really didn’t, I’d still stay up all night remembering our crazy nights together, overthinking why he did cheat when he knew I was coming. Wondering why he never texted or talked to me since then. But now, when I’m standing next to him and his friend group, I decided to let him know I’ve found the right person even though I really didn’t and never had. So without thinking, I turn around and the first guy I see, I pull into a kiss. I open my eyes slightly to see his blue ones staring at me in horror. I did it. I kissed someone other than Alex who’s probably staring open mouthed. But it’s not until I pull off from the kiss that I realise that the guy I was just kissing was Alex’s cousin.