Shore Of Hearts

Right To Be Wrong

I woke up that morning to the sounds of waves crashing up against the boards. The ship was rocking violently almost managing to make me feel ill but I had ignored it. Due to my sleep deprivation, I could barely even think. The moment I truthfully started to panic is as soon as the sound of footsteps walking around the upper deck had hit my ears. Immediately I shot up from the cold floor and realized a jacket had been laid on my body. I squealed and immediately grabbed the first thing I saw, a paddle.

My body was absolutely trembling as I struggled to walk up those stairs with my weak body. Adrenaline rushed through my veins, my brain thinking of every possibility. As I reached the top of the stairs, you stood there with your white shirt covered in must and your ragged jeans. 

I could have recognized those clothes from a mile away. It is quite hard not to recognize you when you'd walk by my stall everyday with that smug expression on your face. 

You turned around and grinned, the clouds settling in and rain beginning to drizzle. I hate, hate, hated you to my core. I stormed over and pushed you to the floor. I flailed my arms around, punching your thigh and your right cheek. My hits were feeble, I could tell you knew that as soon as my arms were revealed under my long sleeves. Brittle and boney.

My love, I don't know what caused you to love me as much as you did.

I continued to struggle while you held me to the floor. I cried as the rain hit my face, the drops so big it almost hurt to be rained on. I stopped struggling as my fatigue was catching up to me. I remember you simply watching me lay there in the rain as you held my hands to the floor. After what seemed like an eternity, you finally picked me up Marie.

That was the first near skin to skin contact I had in awhile. You brought us back to the innards of the boats deck to avoid the rain and set me on your jacket. You began to remove my clothes, stripping me of the nightgown I was wearing. You first took my arms out of the nightgown, no words being exchanged whatsoever. Then lifted it over my head exposing my torso.

You then slowly slid off my panties as I laid there flustered and unable to move. As I watched you hang my clothes on a pole to dry, I admired every part of your face. I was supposed to hate you but no matter how hard I tried I knew I really didn't, not at all not ever. You came back to me, took your jacket and began wiping my body down. I felt this moment was the moment I knew loving you was inevitable.

Carefully, I was dried then wrapped in your jacket and sat next to the furnace to warm up. Breaking the silence, I finally built up the courage to ask. "Why are you helping me?" I said. I knew I haven't been kind to you Marie. You looked me in the eye, "You're all I have." Marie said, scrunging the water from her now off white t shirt. I quickly raised an eyebrow to that response unbeknownst to our situation. "You've been up for 2 hours now, have you not taken a single moment to even look outside? I knew you were a clutz but I didn't think you'd be that bad." Marie said.

Finally, I looked out the small window of the inner deck and realized we were in the middle of nowhere. The rain poured down on the sea and we were in the middle of it. Waves crashed against the sides of my fathers ship, causing us to sway back and forth. I felt my stomach drop. "You...You did this didn't you? Why do you keep ruining my life? Why do you spite me though I have done nothing to hurt you?" I said, my voice breaking mid sentence. You looked down at me with pity, I felt myself turn inside out. Who was I now?

"This was not intentional. For I had only been trying to save you. I watched as you boarded your ship in the pouring rain, and a few moments after the ropes connecting you to the dock had completely snapped. That is why I climbed aboard in an attempt to save your life. Though, my plan had ceased to function." You said, hastily trying to explain yourself.

I felt something within my body start to breakdown. "I hate you! I hate you so fucking much. Why, why, why. You know before you started acting like a fool I had grown quite fond of you. Then you decided to-" I paused.

Before I could say anymore, you turned around and hunched over. I watched as tears fell from your eyes and no matter how much you wiped they would not stop flowing. 

You yelped, "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Ruining your life was not my intention. I just felt so much jealousy towards you because your life was so thrilling. I simply wanted a place in it! I have been plain and boring my entire life and all I truly wished for was to stand out just as much as you did. The method I had used to feel that euphoria was horrid and I'm so sorry. I was consumed with jealousy. Jealousy quickly turned into hatred because I knew I'd never be as successful as you. But I don't hate you. I really don't hate you". You began to weep as I tried to process the information just given to me. It was hard to believe you felt the same way as me. Even harder to believe why you hated me in the first place. I stood up, still wrapped tightly in your jacket and wiped your tears using my hand.

I gently slid my hand across your cheek, attempting to cheer you up. I remember you just standing there for a moment. It hurts to know I will never understand what you were thinking whenever you would zone out like that. 

I wish we had more time together.