Love Heals a Naughty Girl

Chapter Four

Over the next year, Marissa made no effort to contact Byron. Yet she monitored the forum for his comments. He had made many. She could not get over how she missed him.

Marissa knew Byron wasn't in love with her, but one thing kept her from turning loose his memory altogether.

Byron said that he wished he had been younger.

If he had been, they might have formed a relationship. Although he was a widower, he was still too traditional to live with a woman without being married to her.

Marissa asked herself, wasn't it confining for Byron to limit himself to loving one woman at a time that way? Or was it that she and guys her own age enjoyed uncommitted sex so much that no one thought of kids or children? Otherwise, Byron was far preferable to Marissa's usual boyfriends.

Maybe Byron had something when he said marriage ought to be a girl's goal, not playing house. She began to pester her boyfriend now and then about getting married. When he'd sneak in past her mother's room at night, she'd speak of marriage. It ruined their having sex more than once.

Then Marissa's boyfriend got violent. He became so infuriated because she wanted to get married that one night he slapped her across the room. He stormed out, shouting, "You slut, who'd want to marry you anyway! Why should I buy the cow? I can get the milk for free!"

For once, Marissa's mother woke up and called the police. She put all his things in storage the next morning until after he was released from custody.

Marissa recovered, but she asked her mother to drop the charges against him because she was no longer a minor. While she wasn't to blame for his mean streak, she had ignored his irrational behavior and was embarrassed to admit it. But regardless, she had consented to sex. He didn't deserve jail.

Marissa turned on her computer. Would Byron still be on the forum, she asked herself? She just had to find him. At last she was relieved. There he was.

Mar: Byron, I am so sorry for letting you hang so long.

Byron: I'm always okay, but I sure missed you.

Mar: Everything was okay with my new live-in guy for a while, but he got violent little by little. Finally when I pressed him to marry me, he blew up.

Byron: Did he hit you?

Mar: He beat me up so bad that I lost my baby. They say I can have still have children. I'm healed up now. I'm okay.

Byron: Thank God.

Mar: Can you forgive a girl in love?

Byron: It's more important that you forgive yourself.

I really believe that in the long run you'll become a grownup, responsible woman some day that any decent guy could love.

He'd be proud to have you as his wife. But do not consider yourself a fallen angel jumping at the chance to marry out of gratitude.

You deserve better than that.

Although I have always felt too old for you, I suppose there is more in my heart than affection for you after all. You've always been in the back of my mind.

Maybe that's why my own dating hasn't worked out.

As you would expect, I've tried to date women near my own age. They are either divorced or widowed. Boy, are there a lot of them! At my age, there ten widows for every widower.

They're desperate for husbands, just to have someone to take care of. One of them was filthy rich but wanted to control me all the time. I suppose they wanted my name but not really me.

Maybe my older women friends tried to love me. I tried to love them but never found one really interested in me. They just didn't work out.

Mar: Byron, I am back. This time I'm the one who is here for you.

Byron: You mean that we'll have an unrestricted friendship without your leaving me in mid-conversation for phone sex with some guy or the like?

Mar: I have had more than enough experience with douche bags. I don't need them. I'm keeping my knees together from now on. I'm almost nineteen and starting medical school. I need you, and in a wonderful way, you need me too.

Byron: Me?

Mar: I need your friendship, your support. You've been the one person who has always been there for me. I really am smart like you say, but I need your wisdom. You're far more help than my parents ever were.

Maybe if we'll never be married, we can be such close friends, maybe closer that a husband and wife. No jealousies.

But, Byron, I now really feel needed for the first time in my life. In a special way, you really need me after all.

We need each other now. Let's see where our friendship takes us. Maybe we can be married some day, after all.

Byron: Marissa?

Mar: Don't say it's impossible. Just be willing to consider it-- someday.

Byron: My God, Marissa, you are grown up! Yes, we need each other. We're here for each other.

So now Marissa was confident. She still loved the idea of being in love. How she wished that her next two years of friendship with Byron might turn into real love in spite of his being some twenty-five years older.

She no longer sent him photos of herself in wet T-shirts in favor of more modest ones. He sent some of him when he was younger and then as he now was. Byron was uncommonly handsome for his age. Marissa really wanted him but dared not spoil their friendship. Byron no longer deflected her suggestions that they marry. Still, he sang the virtues of younger guys Marissa had overlooked so often in her life in favor of the hunks she had slept with.

She enjoyed their conversations even more although Byron had said more than once that she would be less impressed with his intellect some day. It never happened. As she immersed herself in higher education, she felt closer than ever to him.