kpop imagines

Moonbin (T_T)

//trigger warings lots of angst mentions of death and suicide. 

I recommend listening to friend by Kim hee-won while reading this story.

Why? why did this have to happen? my dearest friend left this world and is never coming back.

I read the tv and it announced it today that he is gone. I am on tour, so I didn't know till now.

I am such a terrible friend. I didn't know my dearest friend is now gone because i was busy on tour with my girl group Viviz. Sinb and I heard this before having to perform and had to hold back our tears. I took one look at her, and she and I couldn't help but start to tear up, but our manager said we shouldn't, so it doesn't affect the performance so we eld them back and went on to perform. we performed a few of our songs but I noticed Sinb was starting to cry and i started to but I tried my best to not cry like manager said but then all the sudden I spoke into my mic "I just want to say a few special words about my bestest friend." I took in a deep breath and then it started I was sobbing. "Moonbinnie-ah I miss you so much and i know that probably doesn't mean much because i wasn't there for you when you needed someone to talk to..." I chuckled a little whilst still crying. "I should've been there for you when you needed me, and I wasn't, and I am so sorry moonbinnie." I started sobbing louder and fans started too so did Sinb. "I want to thank you for everything moonbin, you were there when i needed you and did so much for everyone around you. you never thought to take care of yourself. I admire that you are so selfless, and I wish I could hug you once more. but I cannot." I took in one more breath " I want to sing a song in tribute to you my best friend, my soulmate, my everything." the song started playing 'Amado nega unneungeon jogeum seulpeoseo ilkka' My voice trembled at those words 'Jeonbureul al su eopseume bieo beorindeuthan maeum' I started thinking about our precious moments together. 

*In the past* 

"Hey y/n-ah!" Moonbin yelled over to me "Moonbinnie! what are you doing here?" i thought he was busy at work and couldn't be here to watch me today "I wanted to come see you anyways and my schedules ended earlier than I thought." He smiled after saying that to me "Moonbin you shouldn't be here you should've gone home to rest after a busy day." He pouted at me "y/n you know i can't not come to my best friend's performance." It's my turn to pout "you don't worry about yourself enough moonbin." He smiled again and did what I didn't expect He got close to my ear and whispered, "because I love you." and he kissed my cheek and smiled at me again. I blushed so hard because he kissed me! I only looked into his eyes for a second and then he grabbed me to hug me and told me to go onto the stage.

*End of that memory*

I performed that night with him watching me from the side of the stage and now I won't ever feel him hug me or kiss me again. I still can remember the feel of his lips on my cheek and how hard I blushed from his kiss it was a gentle simple gesture, but I reacted like that from a cheek kiss.

the chorus came on for the song. 'Du soneul japgoseo eodideun nungil danneun goseuro

Sesang bandaepyeonui gireul ttara gaja uri eum.' My heart ached from these lyrics.

'Come, walk with me eoduun baljaguk namgyеodugo

Maeil bam kkumkkudeon geu gosеseo manna with you, my friend.' I couldn't stop crying and thinking about all our cherished memories together. Seungkwan is probably just as heart broken and- omg his sister must be having worser problems because he was her brother. poor Sua. 

'Neoege modeun maeumeul seolmyeonghal su eomneungeon

Sumaneun byeoreul sel su eomneun iyu
Geureongeoya.'  I looked around and I spotted him standing backstage waving at me while smiling at me like he always used to and I waved back but only enough for him to notice but he disappeared, that's when I started sobbing the hardest.

'Come, walk with me eodideun nungil danneun goseuro

Sesang bandaepyeonui gireul ttara gaja uri eum
So, walk with me eoduun baljaguk namgyeodugo
Maeil bam kkumkkudeon geu goseseo manna with you with you.' I took in another breath remembering the last thing he said to me...

*Another memory* 

*Phone starts ringing* "Moonbinnie! how are you?"  He giggled on the other end of the line "I'm doing good how about you?" I smiled so hard "I'm doing alright what's new with you?" He sighed "nothing much I just have been super busy and it is killing me to be honest." It was my turn to sigh "You should take it easy Moonbinnie it isn't okay to let them over work you." I can tell he knew i was right but like always he smiled and said "it's no big deal I'll be okay I always am." I shook my head knowing damn well he was not okay I remember him telling me the other day he was having nose bleeds from how over worked he was. "Moonbin you need to promise me you'll take care of yourself, so I don't have to worry about if you're okay or not." He sighed and then said, "I won't make you have to worry about me ever again." and then hung up. I started panicking trying to call him and no response finally I thought maybe he'll call me back but by the next day he wasn't responding still finally I messaged his sister, Seungkwan and asked Sinb if they've heard from him in a while and they both said no. I started to worry more but that was today we had to perform so manager said not to worry and that someone will find him and he'll call again only to find out he would never call me again because he is now in a better place.

*End of memory* 

it was time for me to finish the song and I looked around once more finding one star shining brighter than the others. 'Domangchideut tteonan eojedeure

Seulpeohaji ana
Gajireonhi heuteojin maeumeul
Eonjedeun tteona jul su isseo
Promise I will always be your friend.' Moonbin was physically gone but his spirit was always with me and Sinb and Seungkwan and even with the other members of Astro. Moonbin was loved and will never be forgotten.

A/N: In loving memory of Moonbin of Astro. Moonbinnie We all love and miss you so much can't wait to see you again someday, maybe meet in another lifetime. Let's promise to meet in another life moonbin-ah<3