Repellent

4- (Un)Steady Hands and a Single Tear

*First Draft

It's Ethan's fault, he didn't specify it in the rules. He can blame his own stupidity if he ever finds out. I made my opinion clear, and he decided to avoid me by locking himself in the cockpit.

I suck in a breath as I contemplate what I'm about to do.

Magna's health had deteriorated slowly before he died and I had done my best to take care of him until the very end. I had bathed him, turned his body so he wouldn't get bedsores, and spoon-fed him what little of his meals he would eat.

This won't be much different, except my patient isn't the old man who raised me, but a dangerous criminal who I can barely look at without having a panic attack.

It was easier the second time my eyes met Roman's, but I don't know how I'm going to touch him. How can I possibly get past that frightening energy that makes me want to run the other way?

I don't know, but I'm determined to try.

My heart is thudding so loudly in my chest that I wonder if Roman can hear it from across the room. I quickly gather the rest of the supplies in the duffle bag I found, and then I grab a pail of warm water.

The water sloshes as I slowly make my way toward the prisoner. My footsteps on the metal floor reverberate around the room, and I can feel his eyes watching me. I'm not looking at him, though. My eyes focus on my boots, the wall, the ceiling. But not on him. Never on him.

The closer I get, the more my heart races. My lungs squeeze and it feels as though ice is penetrating my spine. How could you stand it? Ethan had asked. I didn't know, but I did it, I looked at him and I can do this too.

"What are you doing?" Roman asks. The low timbre of his voice calms me slightly. He is just a man, I remind myself.

My eyes focus on the wall in front of me. Metal.

"I brought you water and food. I thought...I thought I could also try and tend to your wounds. I brought a change of pants." My cheeks warm at the last admission.

Roman is silent and my hands shake slightly. I nudge my way forward, my teeth clench. Swallowing, I get closer to him.

Cautiously, I turn my head and meet him. His lips are parted and he is breathing heavily. He searches my eyes, and his face turns unreadable.

I kneel down in front of him, but not close enough to touch. I try to scoot forward, but before I can, my heart speeds up too fast and my lungs start to close. The fear is so strong, it almost hurts. It is like there is an invisible wall between us, I want to move but I can't. I push the pail of water toward him and then the duffle. Closing my eyes, I try and settle down.

The energy isn't real. It's a defense mechanism. There is nothing to fear.

He can't hurt me. His arms are bound. He's hurt and I'm here to help him.

He can't hurt me.

He won't.

"Can you speak to me? Your voice helps," I pant.

"Jade, it's okay if you can't. I've been in worse shape."

He said my name. It sounded good on his lips. "Say-- my name again."

"Jade."

I move closer. I manage to grin as I open my eyes. "I can... push...through it. Tell me about the...the planet you were on."

His black eyes watch my every movement. "Hephaestus. It was hot there."

He wasn't giving me much to work with, but I focus on his words.