I wish I were pretty. Pretty like my friends, with long, curly, thick hair. With clear skin, no scars, no acne, no bumps, no scabs. With pretty eyebrows.
I wish I could be skinny. I wish I could take a knife and cut any fat off, like you do with stake. Cut it off of my legs and stomach. I wish I could break my ribs and make them smaller, making me capable of a smaller waist.
I loathe them. I could never hate them, not for how they look. They're beautiful and kind. I could never hate them, no, but I do hate me for not being them. Being like them.
I wish things could be simpler, like when you're a kid. Innocent to the world, yet wanting to know it all.
I wish I could change the way I see myself.
I wish I could see myself like you do. See someone worth loving and wanting. Not who I see. Someone desperate, someone unable to focus, someone unable to think for themselves, someone afraid, someone ashamed.
I wish, but my wishes never come true, do they? I can become someone different, but no matter how hard I try, it's never enough for me. I will never be enough. I may be enough to you, but never to me and others. I can wish though. Wish that someday I'll like who I see in the mirror. Wish that standards won't matter to me. That I won't be ashamed. That I won't be afraid.
I wish, and I hope, but is that ever enough?
