Poems and Unsent Letters

To you (An Unsent Letter)

I hate writing birthday cards because I never know what to say. Usually, I crack a joke in them to make it seem like I know what I'm doing. I hate not being able to express my appreciation for you in words, I hate not being able to show you that you mean more to me then the rest of the world, although I'm not someone who would die for you, (because I value my own life) I need you to know that I am here, I will always be here, whether we grow apart or become strangers again, whether the world clashes with it self and the sun burns my heart to a crisp. This letter is not a love letter. If it was, I guess it'd be more poetic than this, but it's not. Therefore, this letter is only here. Call it what you like, but romantic love was never a part of it. I hate writing feelings because I have to clarify them more clearly, to the eyes that sometimes don't see and the ears that sometimes don't hear. I hate that the meaning of friendship changes over time, not ever staying as it was, but time goes by, and so do the people that walk into our lives. Our time together was never short or long. Our time was, well, I'm not sure. I want to say it just was. Was is a strange world, indicating only that the past still remains and will never change. As this letter gets longer, the more I realize the things that have been stuffed in the back of my head, I now realize I no longer remember the things that made you laugh and cry, the things we shared as secrets and lies. And I guess that even if that happens, I only remember you, your face, your style, the drawings you made, the small troubles we faced. But I no longer imagine us as adults out in the world like I did back then. All I remember is two kids that laugh about the stupidest things.