Take Me

Chapter Twenty-Six

♔ Chapter Twenty-Six ♔

Sometimes in life, you get what you want, you find what makes you truly and honestly happy. I think, for me, that had become Darby Darling.
It was every single thing about him. The way he viewed the world, the way he unconditionally and whole-heartedly accepted who I was, and loved me anyway. The way he treated me, not like I was a gentle porcelain doll that would crack and shatter on the slightest touch, but not like I was the shit under his shoe that deserved to be beaten and abused. He treated me like I wanted to be treated, and I didn't even have to ask him to. It was like he knew me, every dark secret, every hidden part of my soul was laid bare for him.

He was beautiful, he was everything to me, absolutely everything. He was perfect, kind, loving, wonderful, accepting. He didn't give a shit, but at the same time he cared so much. I knew that if I searched forever, I wouldn't find anyone like him that I could love so much. Well, maybe one other person, but they weren't real anymore.

For the first time in a long time, I felt like I was seeing things a lot more clearly than ever before. I was seeing Isaac for what he was - a miserable, tormented soul. He had his demons, just like the rest of us, and while he did hurt me, I couldn't find it in myself to hate him. I forgave him for who he was, for what he'd done to me. Maybe karma would take care of him, maybe he'd learn from his mistakes and grow into something better. We all want to just be something better, in the end, don't we? He couldn't be an exception to that, he was only human. He bleeds just like you and me, he feels pain just like you and me. I think, in his own twisted way, he did love me. And a part of me will always love him too. I think Isaac just didn't truly know how to deal with his feelings, they made him angry and aggressive, and maybe his own past was torturing him like mine once was.

I was also seeing Luke a lot more clearly too. And by that, I mean I wasn't seeing him at all anymore. He'd vanished from my life for the last time, and I didn't think he would be coming back any time soon. And this time, I didn't grab at him and force him to stay, clawing and begging and breaking down. I let him go like I should have years ago, because it turns out that I could live without him, and I'd been living without him for years.

I let myself move on, to find something better, to be something better. In the end, I was only fulfilling my promise to Luke, doing just what he wanted, and living life enough for the two of us. I'd come to realise that situations like that just blow up and out of control, and there wasn't a thing that I could do to stop it. I was sure Luke would have forgiven me nonetheless.

Yes. It was for the first time in my life that I was beginning to see the brighter and happier side of things. I didn't feel like the world was working against me anymore, doing everything in its power to make sure that I was suffering the worst kinds of pain. I felt okay with myself. I felt forgiven for everything that I'd done, by Luke and by Darby.. I'd found a relative kind of peace now, where I could be more secure with myself and my beliefs, and I felt like I was on my way to being truly, finally happy.

I'd been feeling like this ever since Darby had kissed me. I felt like the world was no longer bearing down on my shoulders, but like it was my oyster. Like life was what I made it, and I wanted to make mine better. I'd started going back to school again, talking to people again. Most of them spread the worst kinds of gossip about me, about my fainting and bleeding. Most of them thought I had cancer too, which I suppose is a lot better than the real truth.

But I had people like Bobby and Kenya at my side, who didn't ask questions and poke into my life, but who accepted me for me and didn't give a fucking shit. They were the kinds of people I wanted to be friends with now, not two-faced backstabbers like Hebe and lost souls like Isaac.

Putting it simply, it felt like things were better for me.

I was seeing a lot of things more clearly now, and it was all thanks to Darby. I was seeing who Hebe was too. She was no real friend to me, popping in and out of my life inconsistently. I had to let her go too, and so I did. I gave her chance after chance to be a real friend to me and she always took the easy road, pretending other peoples' problems didn't exist and insisting her problems were somehow more important than others'. I was simply finished with being with her. I still spoke to her, smiled in the hallways, but it will never go back to the way that it was. It was better this way, I told myself.

I was also seeing my mum a lot more clearly. She was heartbroken, and I had to explain to her what really happened. I had to tell her the whole truth, and I was prepared for it. At the end of the day, I'm her only son and she would love me no matter what.

I'd given her some space for the last few weeks, letting her mull a few things over on her own before I came back into her life. I'd been staying with Darby while I gave her the time that she needed, but I knew the time was overdue for me to explain things to her. I couldn't stand her hating me, believing that I killed my own twin brother out of cold blood. She had to understand that it was an accident, and only I could explain that to her.

I'd tried calling her, but as soon as she realised it was me, she'd burst into a fit of tears and hang up. I would have to do it in person, I'd realised, so I went back home for what seemed like the first time in a long time.

I knocked on the front door first, but I couldn't hear anything inside. When I tried the handle, it swung open freely. The lights in the house were all off, and I was hit with cold air as I stepped inside.

"Mum?" I called out. "It's Tom. We need to talk."

She didn't reply.

When I entered the living room, there she was, hanging from the ceiling fan. Her skin was pale and her eyes were frothed and bubbled over, a decaying light blue. My whole world came thundering down all over again, as soon as I realised what she'd done. She'd left me.

Another death on my hands. Her blood was on my hands, mixing in with Luke's. I couldn't even think anymore, I collapsed to the floor on my hands and knees and screamed. I screamed so loud, like I had no more cares in the world.

I had no family left now. There hung my mother, the woman who gave birth to me, dead and dry. I couldn't hold it in any longer. I couldn't bare it. It was stupid to think that things could change. Life was one long, miserable journey, and there's no way to escape it, and there are certainly no happily-ever-afters. Not in the real world.

The neighbours heard my screams and stumbled in alongside me. I heard Mrs. Goldeyfurlong gasp, and her husband leave the room in hyperventilating shock. Then they dialled emergencies services. Anything after that seemed a blur.

I remember them taking her body down from the ceiling fan and throwing a blanket over her. I remember Mr. Goldeyfurlong dragging me up off of the floor. I remember the social worker who came after they took her away, telling me I'd be placed into state care until they could find my father. The Goldeyfurlongs offered to house me until they could find him.

None of it meant anything to me, all I kept thinking was that people just kept leaving me. Why? It didn't seem fair. Life wasn't fair at all. And what was worse, when they all leave, they leave me behind to deal with the mess. Luke, dad, mum. Everyone would leave me, sooner or later, and now it was only just a matter of time.

And all I could see for days after were her dead eyes, growling down at me in anger and resentment and bitter disappointment.

I couldn't bare it. I didn't want to feel anything anymore, so I ran, and I kept on running until I didn't know where I was. But then I recognised the house in front of me. I recognised the smell in the air, the feel of the place. I'd never been here before, but I knew exactly where I was.

I was at Isaac's house.

A.N. Keep an eye out for updates, vote and comment as always, and I'll see you guys next time! Xoxo, your Pharaoh, Clayopatra of Claygypt.