Fading

Chapter Twenty One

Harry wakes up when the sun starts slipping through the blinds, and shining across his face. The usual sense of calm washes through him, the feeling he always gets when he wakes up with Louis beside him. It only lasts for a few seconds before he remembers that everything has gone to shit, in the span of twenty four hours. Louis is still tucked under his chin, his hand fisted around the cotton of Harry's t-shirt. Niall is snoring softly on the other side of the room. Harry extracts himself carefully from Louis' grasp, and slips out of bed.

Louis snuffles a little and curls around himself; Harry tucks the blankets back around him. Harry gently tips Niall onto his side, so his snoring doesn't wake Louis, and then stretches out his back, his spine cracking a few times. He goes to the mirror and runs a brush through his hair, before slipping on his headband to keep his curls out of his eyes. He strips down and pulls on his running shorts and a sweatshirt, before lacing up his trainers. He brings his toothbrush and face wash to the communal bathroom to clean up, and then slips back into the dorm room to grab his iPhone, with his jogging arm band and his earphones, and a bit of cash.

Harry goes for a run almost every morning and Louis is used to it by now, so Harry doesn't have to leave a note. He'll probably be back before either Louis or Niall wake up anyway. The second he's out of the building and the crisp air is on his cheeks, Harry starts running. His feet pound the pavement and he cranks up his music; Bleeding Out starts to play.

The familiar burn in his lungs and the ache of his legs is welcomed, like his body is finally expressing the ache Harry is feeling inside. He pushes harder, chasing the pale sun just edging up over the horizon. Normally running is his escape, but it doesn't do much to distract his mind today. There is a beautiful, albeit broken boy waiting for Harry in his bed, and he doesn't even know if all the pieces are there for him to put back together.

By the time he gets back to his dorm building he's sweaty and hot, his legs and his lungs smouldering. He revels in it though, because it feels good to take some of his frustration out on his body. He stops at the kiosk on the main floor. The food there is simple, for people who don't have time to go all the way to the campus dining hall. He wants to grab Louis a breakfast sandwich, but he knows he won't eat it. He gets vanilla yogurt, a berry cup, and a bran muffin; hoping Louis will eat at least a bit of each. He grabs a breakfast bun for himself and Niall, and hands the elderly lady his cash.

When he gets back to the room Niall is dressing, his hair wet from the shower. Harry notices that the duvet off of Niall's bed is draped over Louis, on Harry's bed. Louis is frowning a little in his sleep, his hair fanning across the pillow.

"Woke up to the poor bloke's teeth chattering," Niall sighs.

"Yeah, he gets really cold," Harry frowns, keeping his voice low.

"Gotta get some meat on his bones," Niall adds softly.

Harry nods, swallowing past the lump in his throat, "here, got you sausage."

"Thanks a million mate," Niall says, when Harry hands him the sandwich, "so what's going on?"

"He hates me basically; he's furious at me and the boys. Got him to eat a little last night. I don't know. We haven't talked very much."

"He doesn't hate you, Haz. He'll see how much you love him, and that you're just doing this for his own good," Niall says, clapping Harry gently on the back.

"He doesn't- I don't even know if he can believe that I love him... and like, maybe he was about to, but now I've fucked it up. He won't even admit he's got a problem."

Niall lets out a long sigh around his mouthful of sandwich, and holds his arms open as he chews. Harry is sweaty and gross but Niall doesn't mind, as he somehow folds the taller boy into his arms. Harry lets out a shuddery sigh, and the tears he was trying to run away from finally catch up with him and pool in his eyes. Niall just rubs his back and Harry can feel him take another bite of his breakfast bun, but it doesn't defeat the comforting effect of the hug.