the best smut you'll ever read

Shrek x reader

I shifted uncomfortably as I waited for my daddy papi shreky poo to come home 🥺🥺🥺

I was so desperately desperate but I couldn't do anything or else my papi shreky will body slam me so hard and then throw me out of a fifteen story building and then fuck me so hard the green color of his dick turns blue 🔵🔵🔵🔵

(I hate myself for writing this what)

When I heard the door open I got on my hands and knees and crawled to the door to find daddy Shrek.

"Hey kitten" he pets my head too hard it breaks my neck

I snap it back in place and look up at him while whimpering

(I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at my own writing guys)

Then Fiona walks in behind him

I immediately growl at her

FUCK THIS BITCH TRYNA TAKE MY OGRE

NO ONE LIKES HER

EVERYONE IN THIS DAMN LAND KNOWS SHE A SLUT THIS BITCH GOT BUGS

BUGS 🪲🪲🪲 🐛🐛🐛 GUYS

IN HER

This bitch ass cunty slutty ass bitch motherfucking look like a donkeys left ass cheek little skank got bugs ಠ⁠︵⁠ಠ

slut.

She does an ogre rawr at me and I pee on her footsies

Bitch shouldn't of pissed me off

She kicks me and Shrek literally kicks her onto Uranus

(Hehe ur anus hehehehehehehhe)

"Thank you daddy shrieky papí poo~" I say seductively.

I see his 17191827262628 mile cock grow in his pants in 0.000000000000001 seconds and he picks me up and throws me onto the bed that was all the way across the rooms.

"D-d-d-d-d-daddy s-sh-s-s-sh-shrek-k-k-y p-p-p-poo.." I whine, needing him badly

"You've been a bad kitten. Knees now you dirty little slut" He said in his deep husky musky seggsy voice

(I CANT ANYMORE YALL)

"Y-y-yes, Shrek"

"That's not my name you cunt"

He slaps me into the next room then slaps me back to my spot

"Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-yes.. daddy."

(I bet ur hard rn)

"Good little kitty "

He tears his pants off. Literally just ripped them off.

His 8272929273673727 mile cock slapped my face, making me so much more soaked

I stuck it in my mouth without hesitation. It was so long I couldn't even get half of it in

It didn't take long for him to spray his sticky warm green liquid into the back of my throat

I swallowed it, despite how sour it was

"Good little pookie wookie munchinkin kitty kitten cat" he says

He picks me up and doesn't waste anytime before slamming into me

It was so long that it literally killed me

Literally

The end 

Shrek's pov

Oh

I killed her

Oh well

I'll just go find Donkey

----

A/n: I don't know if I've ever laughed so hard at my own writing

I feel like it's not funny enough tho 😭