Dear, Him.

Notice me

         Dear you, i'm trying to sleep, yet you occupy my thoughts.  Your untamed hair and adorable plump physique make me wonder what it would be like to hug you so tightly. You resemble a genuine human teddy bear, tempting and enticing. My mind is racing, and I can't seem to remove you from my mind. What is this?  I thought these feelings would fade within a week, but it has been nearly three months and you're still on my mind. Hey there, could you please acknowledge my existence?

         Can you please look at me? You always averted your eyes when we talk. When we pass each other, you divert your gaze towards the ground, never meeting my eyes. In the library, when I stare at you, your focus always remains fixed on your sketchbook, perhaps creating more characters. I rarely see you working on your assignments, which leads me to believe you might be lazy, just like me! You always seem to be immersed in reading novels or drawing in the library. From a distance, I secretly watch you, longing to approach you and take a seat next to you. However, my heart is filled with fear, warning me that such an action will scare you away. So, I remain in my own place, two tables away from where you sit.

         In my head, we exist within a flawless relationship. You hold my hand tightly, never letting go, and continuously assuring me that we will remain together forever. You promise to protect me like no one else ever could. When I catch sight of you, all my worries and troubles dissolve away, as if they were never there. In your presence, nobody else holds any significance to me. I don't require friends, family, or anyone else in my life, not even acquaintances or a God himself. You are the sole focus of my attention. It hadn't hit me yet that, to you, I am simply a senior and a club leader, someone who is beyond your reach. You have no knowledge of the intensity of my obsession for you. In your eyes, I am just another teenage girl living my high school life.

         "Hello," I would softly utter every time our paths crossed. You would either nod, pause briefly to meet my gaze, or offer a brief "hi" before continuing on your way. These simple gestures never failed to make my heart race even faster, causing me to fall even deeper for you. I wished we could make more meaningful conversations, but you seem too shy to even say something. Lost in your own realm of doodles and books, you seemed unaware of my daily observations. At that time, I remained oblivious to the fact that what I was experiencing was actually love. I continued to deny it, as I had never truly encountered genuine romance in my life before. I was too afraid, fearing that this feeling won't last forever. Deep down, I understood that even if I attempted to express the depth of my love for you at that moment, it would likely go unreciprocated since you hardly acknowledged my existence. It felt like a futile endeavor, but as a hopeless romantic, I was determined to fight for this love because you had given me something I had never experienced before in my entire life.

So, please, can you look at me?