to the stars | style

12

I back from my unannounced hiatus! Sorry for being gone for a month. But new chapter !!

//

<kyle broflovski>

earlier..

what I watch as Stan runs off to the upstairs. I get concerned and start to follow him but I'm pulled back by Heidi pulling on my sleeve.

"Where are you going?" She asks. I look at her and think of an answer. If she knew I was gonna go after Stan she'll probably get mad then say that I don't care about her enough.

"Just to.. get a cup of water," I say hesitantly. She narrows her eyes at me then her face lights up.

"Ok! Just be quick."

I walk off and start to think. I try to not think about it but Heidi can be really controlling. It might be a trauma response but I have no idea. She doesn't like it when I don't want to cancel plans with Kenny or Stan to hang out with her.

She gets mad when I hang out with the group so usually I have to make up a stupid excuse. For example, once I told her that Kenny's possum died and I had to comfort him. Heidi believed me very easily.

I grab a red solo cup from the kitchen and turn onthe sink to cold water. Even thought I already had a drink in the living room on the coffee table, I needed to get away from everyone. It's too loud and I have a really bad headache.

I also was just diagnosed with bi-polar disorder and I'm not handling the news great. My mom made me go to therapy because she had suspicions and that's when I found out I had it.

The only reason she had suspicions was because one day I would be all happy and would barely sleep days on end, then randomly I wouldn't be able to get out of bed and would sleep all day ignoring everyone, also for days on end. I also go through these random depressive episodes and have really bad suicidal thoughts. I don't like them.

I haven't told anybody yet. I'm to scared of what people will think.

I realize that I've been zoned out for however long so I finally fill my cup and start walking back to the living area.

Walking up behind Heidi I hear her whisper to Wendy and Bebe, "if you tell Kyle I'll kick your fucking ass!"

"Tell me what?" I ask and tilt my head. She jumps and looks behind her with wide eyes.

"Ah- n-nothing! Just about a old video I made that I didn't want you to know about!" She says very fast to the point where I almost can't understand her.

"Alright," I say with caution.

-

It's been an hour and Stan is still gone. I don't even know here he is. I finished about 5 cups of water and finally decide to drink the one I got around the time I first got here.

I haven't drank it because it's been giving me odd vibes. I literally don't know why and that sound so god damn stupid. But I'm to lazy to get back up for the 50th to get more so I just drink the warm cup that's on the coffee table.

I pick it up and stare at it for longer then I thought.

"Kyle!" I snap out of my trance and look at Heidi.