No Greater Love

Kabanata 14

Kabanata 14

"I'm sorry..." salubong ko sa kaniya nang makauwi na siya sa bahay namin.

Sigurado akong alam na rin niya ang pinaalam lang din sa akin nina Mama na pumanaw na raw ang lolo ni Sancho...

The last time I saw him was nitong huling uwi namin ni Sancho sa Iloilo. And it was already noticeable that he was indeed weaker now than before. Pero palangiti pa ito at mabait. Ito na ang pagkakaalala ko sa matanda noon pa man. And Sancho loves his grandfather so much. Ito kasi ang pinakanakakaintindi sa kaniya. And his grandpa also supported our marriage genuinely.

Malungkot kong tiningnan si Sancho. Malungkot din ang mga matang ibinigay niya sa akin. Unti-unti ko siyang niyakap at dinikit ko ang pisngi ko sa dibdib niya. Sinantabi ko na muna ang hindi namin pagkakaintindihan nito lang. Alam kong masakit ito para kay Sancho.

"Uuwi na ba tayong Iloilo?" I asked him gently.

And he nodded his head.

Pagkatapos ay naghanda na muli kami ng mga gamit namin para bumiyahe na naman pauwing Iloilo. We've been doing this many times for this past year. Ang dami rin kasi talagang nangyayari...

"Nakikiramay kami sa pamilya ninyo, hijo."

"Salamat po, tita."

I never left Sancho's side habang nagluluksa pa siya sa pagkawala ng lolo niya. On the senior Llamanzares's wake the whole family was of course present. Hindi pa kami nagkakausap muli ng Mama at kapatid ni Sancho pero mukhang sinantabi na lang din muna namin iyon because we were mourning for the death of the old Llamanzares.

And on the day of the funeral kaming dalawa ni Sancho ang pinakahuling naiwan doon. At pagkatapos ay nagsimula ring umambon.

"Sancho, it started raining..." marahan kong sinabi sa kaniya.

But he just remained standing there and watching his grandfather's grave. Binuksan ko na lang ang itim na payong na dala at pinayungan kaming dalawa.

He was silent. So I remained quiet as well beside him. His management and the fans understand that he's still mourning now. Lalo na at ilang beses din niyang na mention noon sa mga interviews niya kung gaano sila ka-close ng lolo niya and how much he loves him growing up as his grandson. Kaya naman pati ang fans ay naiintindihan iyon at nakikiramay din.

"Gumagabi na, Sancho..." I still reminded him dahil kanina pa talaga kami nakatayo rito. I wouldn't mind it but he has to rest and eat, too. He hasn't eaten that much since the news of his grandfather passing...

Ilang araw na rin siyang walang maayos na pahinga at tulog dahil sa lamay ng lolo niya.

"Let's go home now?"

Bumaling siya sa akin at tumango. Pagkatapos ay hinawakan ko ang kamay niya na napatingin din siya doon bago kami naglakad na paalis at pauwi sa bahay namin.

"Handa na po ang hapunan ninyo, Ma'am."

Pagkauwi namin ni Sancho sa bahay ay sinalubong din kami ng isang katulong na hiniram lang din muna namin sa mansyon namin. Ideya rin ito ni Mama para hindi raw kami mas'yadong mahirapan ni Sancho dito sa bahay at may tutulong din sa amin.

"Salamat." sabi ko at giniya na muna si Sancho sa kwarto sa taas.

"You can wash up first. Ganoon din ako. Tapos bababa tayong muli mamaya para kumain." I gently told him.

At sumunod naman siya. I also took a bath in the other room. We still sleep in separate rooms here in our Iloilo home. Pero balak kong samahan si Sancho hanggang mamaya...

Paglabas ko ng pinto ay saktong kakalabas lang din ni Sancho sa kabilang kwarto. Ngumiti ako sa kaniya. "Let's have dinner now?"

He nodded so we went downstairs to eat.

"Ayos lang ba sa'yo ang pagkain na pinahanda ko?" I asked Sancho.

Tumango naman siya. "Yes, thank you."

I just smiled a bit.

Pagkatapos naming kumain ay tutulong pa sana ako sa pagliligpit ng pinagkainan namin pero sinabihan na ako ng kasambahay na siya na ang bahala at na magpahinga na raw kami ni Sancho.

Ngumiti ako at nagpasalamat na. Pagkatapos ay umakyat na ako sa ikalawang palapag ng bahay.

I was about to turn the knob of the door to my room when I thought of coming in to Sancho's room instead na katabi lang din ng akin. Marahan kong pinihit ang pintuan niya at unti-unti na akong pumasok.

I saw him lying on his bed. Nakatagilid siya at nakita kong gising pa siya dahil bukas pa naman ang mga mata niya. If it's just any normal day I know he would immediately feel my presence entering his room. But I know that he's still grieving from the death of one of the people he loves the most... So I know that this wasn't easy for him.

Lumapit ako sa kama niya at unti-unti siyang tinabihan doon. Hindi pa rin siya gumalaw. Kaya marahan ko naman siyang niyakap galing sa likuran niya. Naramdaman kong naramdaman na niya ako dahil mukhang bahagya siyang natigilan. But he didn't move that much and remained that way. Nanatili rin naman akong niyayakap lang siya nang tahimik.

After a while Sancho moved to face my side of the bed. Ngayon ay magkaharap na kaming nakahiga sa kama. Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa. The first few moments were filled with peaceful silence... until he spoke first. "You're here..." was what he said.

Tahimik naman akong tumango. Our faces were only inches apart from each other. And our bodies were close. "I want to be here for you, Sancho. I'm here when you need me... I'm just here." I gave him a small reassuring smile.

He slightly nodded his head. "Thank you... Rose..."

"Hmm?"

"I..."

We were looking each other's eyes.

I was waiting for what he was about to say to me...

"I'm glad that you're here... Thank you for staying by my side." He said quietly.

Magaan na lang akong ngumiti sa kaniya. "I'm here, Sancho. I'm just here for you. And I'll be with you, always." I gave him all my assurance. Because I didn't want him to feel alone. And it's also my indirect way of telling him that I will be with him forever... I am his wife and I married him. And after all that happened to us now I want to be more of a wife to him. That I am fully giving our marriage a chance.

"Thank you, Rose... I promise... I will take care of you, too... I am here, too, for you..."

He said to which I just smiled. And I feel happy of our assurance.

That night I fell asleep beside him after Sancho fell asleep as well. Nakatulog na lang ako habang tahimik siyang pinagmamasdang mahimbing na ang tulog...

I even carefully and gently touched his cheek for him to feel the warmth of my palm... as he just peacefully sleeps right next to me.