Royally Blue

Chapter 3

Qulsum POV:

I looked up at the board to check who my partner was. Hopefully, I'm with one of my friends. I start looking for my name up on the board only to find the name Shawn next to it. Great, a white guy for a partner. Ya rabb, please do not let him be that Shawn. "OH, one thing I forgot to mention, you'll be switching seats and will sit next to your partner. So take your stuff with you to your partner. This will be your seats for the rest of the semester, so I suggest you guys get to know one another." Mr. Frizz voice booming across the room. Great, just great, I'm gonna be separated from my friends. I gathered my stuff and turned to my bestie, Fatimah, and asked her if she knew who this Shawn kid was. Hopeing she didn't point to that Shawn, she pointed towards a blonde guy, and I just internally groaned. You've got to be kidding me. He's really that Shawn.

Flashback to 8th grade

"Hey Qulsum, how are you?" Asked Shawn. "I'm good, how are you?" I replied, not wanting to be impolite. "I'm good, yo Qulsum, we're friends, right?" Without even waiting for me to reply, he continued. "Can I have your number?" Wait, what! My number!!! Hell nah boy, the only men that I will ever allow to have my number are my dad and brothers. No way in hell am I giving it to this boy. I was too stunned to speak, so instead, I just shook my head side to side. "She just rejected you, Shawn!" said Amy, laughing like it was something funny. IT ISN'T! I'm being tortured by these people, and I can't do anything about it for the sake of not being an impolite egg head. "Awww, Qulsum has such a cute boyfriend." Wait, WHAT! I just laughed nervously and pretended to be focusing on the lesson. I didn't think that hating a subject could have been possible for me, but these idiots just made me hate math!!!!

End of flashback

Why is fate so cruel? Cause this world is cruel, duh. Dang, did I really just answer my own question? Am I really that lonely? At least his jokes were funny. Actually, cross that. It made it so hard not to smile or burst out in laughter. Alhamdulillah though, 'You plan and Allah SWT plans, and he is the best of planners' I reminded myself before mentally giving myself a lecture on how I'm gonna have to keep it professional, meaning, no jokes, no smiling, no laughing. Dang, this is gonna be hard. I laugh at everything. How the hell do I do this! I was told that in order to keep away from being friends with your non mahram is by not being friendly. Such as making jokes, or laughing to jokes, or smiling at them, or talking in a friendly tone and voice. In other words, keeping it professional at all times. It's for the sake of Allah SWT Qulsum. Get it together!

I'm reminding myself that Allah SWT is watching me. I sat next to Shawn, "Salam alykum." I turned my head to see who greeted me. I saw Shawn waiting for my response, "Wa layikum asalam, are you muslim Shawn or did you just learn the greeting from one of your friends?" I asked. "I reverted last year, alhamdulillah." I couldn't help but smile, dont judge me, okay, it's torture to control my facial expressions. I can't help it, really. I mean, I found out the guy is a revert, just imagining him saying the shahada for the very first time warms my heart and brings tears to my eyes. Tears that I will hide and keep hidden from the rest of the world, of course. It's embarrassing to cry in front of people, sometimes, even when I'm by myself. "I'm happy for you, Shawn. May I ask what caused you to convert, I just really love revert stories. " It'll help my iman (faith) quite a lot. I know I'm gonna smile like the Cheshire cat if I don't pinch myself while listening to this. So let the pinching begin!

"Well, when I first met you and talked with you, I started becoming more and more curious about the hijab. I decided to do some research on it, I talked to one of my muslim friends about it and they recommended me some reliable sites to do my own research on the hijab, which lead on to many more questions and caused me to continue my research on Islam . Fast forward a couple of months after 8th grade. I was hanging out with my friends, most of them being muslim. The adhan went off on one of their phones, and there was a masjid nearby. So they decided to pray first just in case they lose track of time and miss the prayer. There was only one other non-Muslim amongst us, so they recommended we come inside with them and talk with one another while they prayed. We agreed, and as soon as I stepped into the masjid. I felt as though I finally returned back home after years of travel. And when they started to get together in rows and start praying together, mirroring one another's movements. I couldn't help but think how all the people in that room had completely different lives and yet still came together to pray. As we were leaving the masjid, I felt as though I was leaving home and would never come back. A couple of weeks passed, and a tight feeling still remained in my chest. I decided there was only one way to get rid of this heartache, and that was to return to the masjid. And I did, again the same feeling came to me, however it was occompined alongside a feeling of peace this time. Again, I watched the people pray and left with my heart aching all over again. And each time i felt my heart aching again, I would go back and watch them pray, then leave with my chest heavy and so on a forth. After the 8th time, an old uncle came up to me and asked me why I would come, sit in the corner every now and then, yet not join the prayer. I knew what I had to say to him and said it out of the blue. 'I want to become a muslim. How can I do so?' I asked him and he smiled at me a very warm smile and he went to the microphone, dragging me alongside him, and spoke into it 'Excuse me brothers and sisters, I have a brother with me that that says he wants to take his shahada and become a muslim' the whole masjid or at least the men's side was filled with a bunch of alhamdulillah's and Allahuakbar's. He turned to me and said all you have to do is repeat after me, and he started telling me the shahada starting with the arabic first which was quite hard and so I had to do it syllable by syllable. Then we moved on to the english. Let me tell you so much, easier! And yeah, that's my story. " he said.