Strings attached

The mirror's reflection

The morning sun peered through the heavy curtains casting a gentle glow across Valeriana's peaceful face. As the rays warmed her eyelids she mumbled and shifted under the warmth of her comfortable blanket. But deep inside a sense of unease stirred within her, unraveling the serenity of her slumber.

Valeriana eyes flickered open revealing a pair of tired brown sad eyes. With a heavy sigh she reluctantly sat up. Her mind clouded with the weight of the day ahead, she felt suffocating. The thoughts of dragging herself to get up and be ready for class leaving her feeling overwhelmed and powerless.

From a young age, Valeriana had been raised in a family where success was the ultimate goal. Although her parents didn't directly dictated that, they believed deeply in the importance of education, success and accolades. They encouraged their children to aim for greatness in academics. In the future, they will be fortunate enough to secure well-paying and fulfilling careers sparing them from experiencing significant hardships later in life.

Valeriana siblings were in a perpetual race for their parents' acknowledgement and love fueling their desires to achieve more and more. As the youngest in her family, Valeriana continuously maintain her academic performance. She has a constant fear of being left behind and feels the need to achieve more than what her siblings have accomplished.

Despite her dedication and hard work, she noticed that her parents no longer seem excited or interested in her achievements. Even during award ceremonies her parents never bother to attend. Dismissing it as just another repetitive event. While they had the best of intentions, their unyielding expectations had become an unbearable burden on Valeriana's life and slowly breaking her spirit.

Her sisters and brothers constantly engage in comparing their achievements and progress which deeply saddens her. What breaks her heart even more is that regardless of her efforts they become consumed by jealousy rather than celebrating her accomplishments. Unlike her siblings, she possesses a distinctive attitude and way of thinking. Unfortunately this divergence only results in her consistently being left behind during various activities by the siblings. Heightening her feeling of exclusion. The continuous divergent treatment she receives has transformed her into a person who finds comfort in continuing with her ordinary day-to-day life unaffected by her siblings' actions.

Their treatment made her mature beyond her years. As young as 10 years old, Valeriana forced herself to become self-reliant and independent. Ignorance became her shield protecting her from the pain and realities that surrounded her.
As the years passed this combination of independence, ignorance and coldness shaped her personality. She became a stoic figure unaffected by the emotions and struggles of those around her. While she may have appeared strong on the surface deep down she slowly breaking down and lost interest in her life.

Each day the pressure mounted on her loomed over her like dark clouds. The constant reminder that only the highest grades and the most impressive accolades would suffice gnawed at her.

As she dragged herself out of bed Valeriana glanced at the mirror on her bedroom wall catching her reflection. Her black wavy hair and brown eyes paired with her pale skin were just a mask hiding her true self. Her once sincere vibrant smile had faded replaced by a pretentious smile. She gently touched the mirror searching for the girl she once knew - the girl who possessed courage, resilient and the spark of life that now seemed dim and distant.

Summoning her strength Valeriana left her room and walked down the familiar hallway. She stayed in the university's residence. On her way to the common bathroom, the living hall was dark and one of her housemate, Evageline Brooks was rustling through her papers with serious face.

"Oh Valeri, you have class today?", Eva peek through her notes while adjusting her glasses.

" Yea, 2 classes", I lean on the wall while answering. "You pull an all nighter again?"

"Heh..heh.. The life of a double master student, you better make a good life choices", Eva snickers while stretching herself.

"It's your own choices and open the curtains! it's freaking gloomy in here. How the hell do you study in the dark. Your glasses can be a magnifying glass." Abigail, Eva half sister drawed the heavy curtain and letting the sunlight in. She continued to nagged Eva about making a mess in the living hall with all her research papers and empty mugs. Evangeline hissed and complaint to Abigail for ruining her 'thinking lair'.

I snickered and walked towards the common bathrooms. The house I'm currently living in is under the university management. It consists of 4 bedroom, a living hall, kitchen and 1 big common bathroom. The bathroom has 4 stalls of shower room and toilet respectively.

I took a quick shower and chose my attire, T-shirt and jeans would suffice. Today's class will be held in the amphitheater and it's going to be extra cold. I took my oversize hoodie and stuffed it in my bag.

The house was silent save for the muffled sounds of Eva talking on her own and typing on the laptop. Abby must have gone to her class after her routine nagging to Eva. She's a 3rd year Accounting undergraduate while her half sister is doing double master in Education & Management. Their mother remarried and had Abby with her second husband. Despite their usual banter, they are the best sisters and I envy them from time to time.

Arriving in the main buidling, I took a detour to the cafe area. I still have 15 minutes before lecture starts. I bought a bottle of strawberry milk and a mexican bread, attempting to gain some semblance of energy to face the day ahead.

I found an empty bar stool, sat down and took a sip of the strawberry milk. The fruity aroma filled my nose providing a brief moment of peace before the hectic day ahead. People-watching has been one of my hobbies. While muching the bread and drinking milk, I looked at myriad of people going about their morning life. Singles, couples and the one that always walk in herds. I despised these people since school. The space they took on the hallway and don't even mention how loud they can be.

I gulped down my milk and throw away the bottle & paperbag into the bin. I walked my heavy feet towards the lecture hall. Only ⅓ of the amphitheater is full. The back seats are filled with students, guess the will leave halfway through the lecture. Spoiled brats.

I proceeded to the middle seats and saw the friends I made since last year. It's my 2nd year as Environmental Science undergraduate here in Ceridian University. I knew they were going to blast the A/c, I took out my hoodie and put it on. Different scents filled the air, what a load of perfume they wore to class. My nose hurts.

I took a seat near familiar faces and listening to their morning chatter. Occasionally responding to their questions and showed interest in their story has been my set of skills since I was a child. 21 years of living this wretched life made me numb of most emotions. Nothing seems interesting to me and I feel like a wound-up toys that await its gear to finally stop turning.

The lecturer arrived and he passed the attendance sheets. Mr. Maxton Archer, he taugh Human Communication and the least favourite of most students because of the amount of assignments he gave. It is one of the compulsary subject for 2nd year degree. Are they hoping for the younger generation to be able to 'human-ing' well?

I ticked and signed my attendance and was about to pass to the person in front. He was asleep. Why bother sitting in front if you are going to sleep. I poke him with my ruler and he flinched. He turned his head and with my adorable poker face, I passed him the sheets. I direct my attention back to Mr. Maxton and can feel the front guy's sleepy but hateful stare. Don't blame me mister, my hands are too short to tap you..nicely.

The dreading 90 minutes lecture end with another assignments. Students left the lecture hall cussing for having a group assignments and it was random selections. He will email us the list of groups later this evening. I walked through the idle students and planning to go back to my room to sleep. The hallways were full of students on their way to the class and some just simply standing by, human maze I called them. Having chats, sharing lecture materials and some don't even know what class they are having.

As I hasten my steps, I saw the guy that I innocently poked with my ruler ealier. He was walking slowly while looking at his phone. His demeanor somehow felt mysterious and I can see that he is one of the 'lone-wolf' type. I took a left turn and walked towards the cafe, buying myself a few piece of breads. I'm going to take a nap before the noon class.