Fever Dream

Chapter 8: Of Hope For A Better Tomorrow

I woke up when dawn was just beginning to pierce the dark dominance of night, rivulets of sunlight streaking through the dark blue sky.

I thought about everything I had relived the day before. My life, condensed into a series of events that told a despondent tale. A cycle of good, bad, good and bad. Reconstruction, only for everything to collapse again. After the tumultuous aftermath of The Event, I thought that I was destined to lie low, living humbly, not daring to break out of a safe routine.

I walked out of the alleyway and into a large field, a flattened plot of land marked for development, although nothing appeared to be built there yet.

"I know no one can hear this but me," I began to say. "But I would like to announce that today, a victory has been scored. That I have broken from the diminishing cycle imposed on my life. When Ben left, my instinct was to dwell on the past, waiting for things to get better. When I thought I had messed up and killed Clary, my instinct was to run.

Now I will neither run nor sit around nor lie flat, worried only about making it to tomorrow. I must face the darkness I have caused. I must make amends. Though my life may now be in a dark impasse, I will not falter. I will rebuild and make things anew, with the little that I have right now.

I was always afraid to fight problems by myself. It was always someone else that gave me the spark I needed to start the long trek towards resolution. Today, things are different. I am starting the fight, the march for a better tomorrow.

I cannot bear the weight of hiding my inadequacy, my failures anymore. Only when I face them can I bring peace back into my aching soul."

I turned towards the sky once more. The day was young, ripe with opportunity. It was high time to rebuild my life. Once more, I could feel the hope of labouring for a better tomorrow, despite the gloom of my present life.