Whiskey Bent & Hellbound *AU*

Chapter 41

Madison's POV

It was hard to believe we had just played our second to last show. The last couple of weeks had flown by so fast it was almost like those blink and you miss it type of moments. Ryan was back to performing at one hundred percent, and every show seemed to be better than the last. I was also giving some of my best performances. I had been developing a huge following of my own, and the crowd's were enthusiastic for me. Maybe not at the level of Ryan, but that was to be expected. I was still a newcomer and he was the superstar, and I was perfectly okay with that. I wanted him to shine.

Ryan and I were still the big story in country music, especially our relationship. A lot of the media outlets were surprised we had lasted this long, mainly based on his reputation. Yeah. They could kick rocks. Then there were the other outlets who recognized the change in him and applauded it. Those were the ones who called us a "power couple." Yeah. Whatever. We didn't need a label. We were just a couple in love.

Among other news, the CMA's had sent out the list of nominations. Ryan was up for several awards, including entertainer of the year. Our duet was nominated for vocal collaboration. Huge things were happening for the both of us. I was incredibly proud of him. He worked hard for this. This tour had been amazing for the both of us career wise as well as personal wise. Ryan was cranking out song after song. The man was a writing machine. I had written a total of six.

Being on the road was exhausting, both mentally and physically, yet a part of me was terrified of going back home to Nashville and the real world.

On the road, Ryan and I were constantly together. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. In bed, the shower, hell, even in our dressing rooms between shows. It wasn't all sexual though because we had a real connection on every other level as well. We had really opened up to each other. Ryan knew all about my past, and he had revealed his to me. He talked to me about his father's death and the guilt he felt over that and how it had sent him into a downward spiral. One thing we had mutually agreed not to talk about were past relationships. We were keeping those in the past.

Now, I'm sitting here overthinking things. I was getting inside of my own head and I didn't know how to get out of it. Would our relationship change when we returned home and were not together 24/7 sharing close quarters? Everyone thought being on the road would be the biggest source of temptation for Ryan, but I was more worried about him being back on his old stomping grounds, so to speak. Around his friends and the pressures of the industry. I know now that he doesn't have a problem with alcohol, That he can control it. He can have a drink and not go overboard, but that was with me, Kevin and Chase around. Would being around all of his other friends influence him?

And me? Was I just supposed to return back to my small, empty apartment alone? Does he go back to his home alone as well? What does any of this mean for us? I love him, he loves me, that much is known, but where exactly do we go from here when we leave the close quarters of this tour bus that has been home for the last three months? I don't want to be that needy, clingy girlfriend who expects him to drop everything to be with her constantly because I know he has a life outside of me and his career. It's that life that scares me though, and I'm afraid to even bring it up to him because I don't want to come off as insecure, which I kind of am, or controlling, which I certainly don't want to be.

"What's got you staring off into space and thinking so hard?" Ryan asked, coming out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist while he used another to dry his hair.

The sight of him like this was a welcome distraction from everything going on in my head. Was it so bad that I was ready to pounce?

"The scar is actually kinda hot." I said, looking at the remnants of the wound to his left shoulder.

"It is pretty badass." He flashed me a cocky grin. "But I know there is more going on in your pretty little head than my scar and hot body." He sat down next to me, and his expression then turned more serious. "Tell me what's on your mind."

Okay, maybe now wasn't the time to pounce. Sure it would have been an amazing, although momentary distraction, but I needed to get all of these feelings off of my chest. I needed reassurance, but how was I going to approach everything without coming off as needy and insecure?

I just needed to get it out. "What happens when the tour is over? Where do we go?"

"Where do you want to go?" He looked confused for a moment. "I get a little break for about a week before I hit the recording studio, but we can go wherever you want to go. Beach, mountains, city. Or we can just go back to Nashville."

He was not understanding me, and yeah, that was my fault because I had asked a rather vague question.

"I mean with us. You and me. Where do we go once we get back home? You have your place, I have mine. We both have lives, so what does it mean for us?" Saying the words out loud, hearing them spoken, made me sound a little bit silly to my own ears, but I needed to know.

"Nothing has to change Madi. I hope to God you know that this...us...it's not some kind of fling for me to where we go our separate ways once we get back home." He looked a little angry now, almost insulted, and that was not my intent at all.

I took a deep breath, trying to put the words I wanted to say in my head. "It's not a fling for me either. I don't do flings. I love you. I am in love with you, but I'm just afraid of what all of this means for us. The only relationship I've ever had was long distance. I don't know the types of relationships you've had, I don't want to know...but is being off of this bus, back in Nashville, living our lives going to change anything because I don't want it to." I felt my eyes begin to water. I did feel needy right now.

He put his arm around me and pulled me close, dropping a kiss on my forehead. "Baby, nothing has to change. Just because we are not on this bus, it doesn't mean a damn thing different because I told you that you are it for me. I am hopelessly in love with you. You are part of my life now. It doesn't matter where we are. Whether we are home or on the road. Together or apart. All of that is just geography. We are together regardless of what else is going on in our lives."

Those words really went a long way into giving me the reassurance I needed. "Thank you for saying that. I'm sorry I'm being so needy right now."

"Be as needy as you want to be. I don't mind. This is new territory for both of us and we are finding our way and navigating everything. As long as we get to do it together, that's all that matters. Why don't you come home with me? Unless you want to go back to your own place. I'd love to show you my house. I don't get to spend nearly as much time there as I'd like. It's my retreat. It's super private. Just outside of Nashville. Chase is the only one who knows about it. Everyone thinks I live in Nashville. I have an apartment there that everyone thinks is my residence, but it's not." He said, and my heart soared.

"I would love that. Just the idea of you and me hiding away for a little while...no father figure. No cockblock lurking around. No packed arenas. Just us. That honestly sounds perfect." I flung my arms around his neck, breathing in his clean, freshly showered scent.

He pulled me onto his lap, then planted one of those hot kisses on my lips that always made the rest of the world disappear. Soon, I was flat in my back, the towel that had been around his waist had fallen away and he hovered over me. I melted into the kiss, looking forward to going home in just a couple of days.