❝ 𝐌𝐘 𝘔𝘐𝘚𝘌𝘙𝘠 𝐎𝐖𝐍𝐒
𝐌𝐄 𝐍𝐎𝐖. ❞
𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐁𝐎𝐖𝐈𝐄,,
it's almost been a year now,, bo. everything still feels so... empty. it's not the same without you. nothing is. why did you have to go? i could've helped you,, i could've. i should've hugged you when i had the chance,, should've told you how much you meant to me. i miss your laugh,, your hugs,, even your stupid fucking face paint i hated so much. ( . . )i can't remember what your voice sounds like. can't remember the last time i said i loved you. can't remember your stupid jokes. but i don't wanna forget. i don't want you to fade away. though it already seems like everything is going so fast. our memories are fleeting,, bo. i ̶w̶a̶n̶t̶ need you back. i mean,, fuck..can't i just see you? one last time? can't i just grab you and never let go? you said we were supposed to stay together. what the fuck,, bowie? god,, you're such an asshole even from the grave. i know you'd probably laugh your ass off if you saw me here: reading to a headstone. but jesus. it hurts to see these flowers wither away. you don't deserve that. you never deserved that. ( . . )i can barely even think about what we used to have. i don't wanna think about all the times i said i hated you when really,, i didn't. you were the best fuckin' person on this earth. i wish i realized that before it was too late. there's a lot of things i wish i could change with you. i wish i didn't shut you out. i wish i didn't waste any moment in my life without you in it. i wish you would somehow just come back to me,, tell me it was all a sick fuckin' joke everyone was playing on me. i wish,, i wish,, i wish.
i wish i knew how to do this without you.
✗ jen.