Alone

Birthday Celebrations

What was that annoying beeping sound? The sound was interrupting the peaceful sleep that I was currently wrapped safely in, tonight was the first night I had managed to sleep through without any sort of dream that involved James and vampires. I had been trying to hide the fact I had been having nightmares from everyone, I didn't want to seem as if I was weak, I didn't want to admit that the whole ordeal with James had affected me as much as it had, Bella seemed to be fine, as if she had almost forgot about it all, the Cullen's had returned to their normal way of life, dad was his usual self so I didn't want to worry anyone, hiding it from Em, Rose and Jasper had been the hardest, over the last four months since the incident, me and Rose had been getting to know each other and I think it was going really well, Rose saw me for me, not Bella's sister, the protector I had always thought I had to be, we had spent hours shopping and talking about life like we were two normal human teenagers, she had told me about her past and why she had been so against the idea of me and Bella when we first come around, I understood, she craved a human life, and here we were choosing to entwine ourselves with a vampire one, on one level me and Rose were the same, we just wanted to protect our loved ones, me Bella and her Lucas and the Cullens, she hated having to move and wanted to stay in one place for a little while at least.

Jasper was a different story, he was the one Cullen me and Bella didn't really interact with on our own, everyone worried and afraid on how he was the newest to the vegetarian lifestyle, and how quickly all the Cullen's had built could come crashing down, I never felt any fear around Jasper, I think beside Alice, I had the most trust out of him, I had spent time with him under the ever watchful eye of either Emmett or Rose, he had taught me how to play chess, the history of the civil war, I loved listening to his stories about his childhood, Jasper was always careful though, never letting himself speak about how he was turned, I was observant though, I had seen the scares that littered his arms, I knew his story must have been a painful one and he would one day feel comfortable confiding in me, but I knew it would take time and would tell me when he was ready, having him being able to read my emotions was hard, I would always get a look off him which I tried to ignore, luckily we had an almost unspoken agreement, he never brought my feelings up around anyone, which I was thankful for.

Emmett; my own personal piece of heaven. He was the hardest to hide the nightmares from, he was normally over here every night expect from the times he was hunting, every night he would spend his time laid right next to me, the nightmares were a constant within my sleep routine now, although when he was here, they were a bit more bearable, I think Em knew I was struggling more than I let on, I saw the pitiful looks he sent me when I wasn't looking after I had woken up in a cold sweat from one of the many nightmares, he had tried to bring it up, but I quickly shut the conversation down and said it was normal nightmares; homework, cheating boyfriends, loss of friends, college pressure, anything to keep him away from the actual truth. It wasn't that I didn't trust Emmett, it was far from that, I would trust Emmett more than anyone in my life, but I didn't want him to feel guilty, I knew deep down he did, he felt as if it was his fault I was ever near the danger, without him, I would be a normal teenager, worrying about grades, boys, college and now, the only thing I worried about? Evil vampires ending my life.

Groaning, I turned over and turned the alarm off, I glanced at the clock that read September thirteen, 06.32am, today was mine and Bella's eighteenth birthday.

I let out a little sigh, I knew today was going to be a mixture of emotions, growing up I had always loved birthdays, today was different though, Bella had spoken to me about her fears last night, she hated that now she was officially older than Edward, I had tried to reassurance her, she would actually be younger than him for years, he was after all over one hundred years old, I didn't have to worry about that, Em was changed at nineteen and the age issue didn't really matter to me, she had explained she feared the aging process me and her would take and how she didn't want to look forty and dating a teenager, I had sat there quietly as she poured out her fears to me, I could tell it had been playing on her mind for a while, and with Edward hunting she was finally free to express them.