Alone

New Friend?

The past few weeks turned into some sort of blur, Bella was the definition of a walking zombie, she didn't do anything, she went to school didn't really talk to anyone including myself and then came home and went to her room and barely left her bed, I had tried everything I could think of to help but nothing I was doing seemed to be helping, the nights were even worse, the screams echoed through the house, her nightmares turning into mine and dad's own personal nightmares, the strain was showing on all of us, dad looked older somehow, never seemed to laugh anymore, the bags under my eyes showed the lack of sleep, dad still had to work so I mainly stayed with Bella on the nights, trying to console her when she woke up screaming and crying.

I knew dad felt guilty not being able to do more and putting so much pressure on me but I always reassured him I was fine and we needed to focus on Bella, and to some extent I was fine, I had accepted the fact the Cullen's had left, I accepted that I had lost the love of my life, but I didn't have time to morn, but I had my moments when it all became too much for me to handle but I would wait until I was alone usually in the shower, it was only then I felt I could actually let my own emotions out.

It was a typical school day morning in the house, me and dad were sat at the kitchen dining table drinking coffee in silence as we both watched Bella push cereal around her bowl in her own little world, I honestly didn't know how much longer this could go on for,

"that's it! Bella! I'm sending you home" Dad said as he slammed his coffee mug down on the table, the action made me jump and I looked from dad to Bella to see her staring at dad in disbelief,
"I am home" Bella mumbled clearly confused,
"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville" dad clarified,
I watched dad stare at Bella with exasperation look as she slowly grasped the meaning of his words,
"What did I do?" Bella asked, I felt my own face crumple, did she really not see what everyone else saw? I glanced back at dad to see him scowling,
"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything" dad said clearly letting out some of his pent up anger,
"You want me to get into trouble?" Bella said as she pulled her eyebrows together in confusion, I sighed to myself and sank back further into the chair,
"Trouble would be better than this... this moping around all the time!" Dad said raising his hands to make his point,
"I am not moping around" Bella said glumly back,
"Wrong word, moping would be better, that would be doing something, you're just... lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want, everyone can see it" dad said his words softening a bit towards the end,

"I'm sorry, Dad." Bella said quietly, even her apology sounded a little flat, even to me,
"I don't want you to apologize" dad clarified to her,
"then tell me what you do want me to do" Bella asked him staring right at him,
"Bella" I warned, but my warning fell on deaf ears,

"Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know, you're not even the only person in this room that's going through the same thing" Dad said softly and glanced at me a little,
"I know that." Bella said but her accompanying grimace was limp and unimpressive,
"Listen, honey. I think that maybe you need some help." Dad said carefully,
"Help?" Bella accused, dad seem to paused, searching for the words again.

"When your mother left, and took you and your sister with her." He started to say before stopping and inhaling deeply, I looked down at the table, the situation making me feel uncomfortable,

"Well, that was a really bad time for me." Dad finished,
"I know, Dad," Bella mumbled,

"But I handled it, honey, you're not handling it" dad said, I waited hoping it would get better but Bella just looked down quickly,

"I think we both know it's not getting better" Dad said softly,
"I'm fine" Bella mumbled,

"ye right" I said under my breathe, Bella turned and frowned at me, dad just ignored me, and kept his eyes on Bella,