It's because it terminates something that has been occurring for some time now.
Some people think that the ending is just the end. And they're not particularly wrong.
The end of a story, the end of a relationship, the end of a movie, the end of your sleep, the end of your snack, the end of your hair, the end of the road, the end of the hall, the end of your cry, the end of your happiness- the end, the end. THE END.
The resolution. The Epilogue. The finish line.
It was the end of August. The start of a new semester. A new year of school full of opportunities. A new chapter. A fresh start. I remember being excited and nervous at the same time.
I was thrilled to finally interact with some people. Given all the craziness that it had happened during the pandemic and everything.
My stomach clenched, my heart thumped. Sprinting the remaining miles to school. My legs were shaking, my mind was shooting agonizing thoughts.
What if I trip and fall? What if I don't make any friends? What if I stay as a loner throughout the entire school year? Will I not make any friends?
My daunting shyness was talking the best of me.
"I'm nervous" I confessed to my mom, constantly gazing at my reflection through the side mirror. Thinking I looked rather pale. But feeling reassured given how no one will notice since masks were mandatory. "What if I don't make any friends?"
I was frightened at the prospect of me being a solitary outcast like my brother. Wait, what?
I soundlessly apologized to him. Feeling rather convicted against him. I have seen how they treated him yet, I did not dare to stop them. I was too scared to stand up for my own brother. I was too embarrased to take his side and love him the way he was.
Forgive me God, forgive me God. My heart cried, feeling remorseful towards itself. With a tremendous weight added to my shoulders.
Perhaps, it was karma all that happened.
"Vas a estar bien mamá, vas a hacer amigos." My mom comforted me by saying that I will make some friends. But my mind didn't register her words.
They seemed so... distant. Because worry was carved deep within the contents of my heart and my mind dismayed that thought. Having friends. It refused to let me be in peace.
I had a strong feeling that something was going to happen to me.
The drums inside my chest came to life as soon as the school building came into view.
I bid my mom goodbye as I stepped out the car, then I was greeted by a warm wave of cold air.
My heart beated a marathon as I wandered around the school. I was trying to find my class and trying to be on time until I gave up and decided to ask for help.
I spotted my target-Mrs. I don't remember her name-my freshman history teacher.
I was so relived to see a familiar face at last.
"Hi, can you tell where's room 108?" I was so nervous that my voice came out so shaky, I felt I was on the edge of a panic attack.
My palms were sweating, my eyes were watering, and my heart was a couple thumps away from having a cardiac arrest and having my body lay on the floor lifeless.
The teacher leaned closer, furrowing her brows and asking what I had said, so I repeated myself again.
She told me that my class was upstairs and that I had to go around the school. I nodded and rushed my way to my first period since the bell was about to ring. I didn't want to be marked tardy on the first day.
However, I was glad to know that I wasn't the only one lost.
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"It's not the end of the book, it's just the beginning of a new chapter."
- What are times where you thought that 'the end' was the end of your life?
Also, I don't particularly believe in karma, butthat sentence seemed quite fittingforthat situation.
