This Is Me Letting You Go

June 13th

For a while I blamed myself for the outcome of our relationship. I took it all in because I thought you would see that I truly wanted it to work out. I thought you would understand that I never wanted to give up. But not even that made you change your mind. Not my tears, not my apologies and not even my love. All along you had your mind made up already. There was nothing I could do to change it. God, that was such a painful moment. How much I cried for you to give it a chance because we had so much invested in the life we built. I understand. I truly understand that I had a part in your decision to walk away. It wasn't just our recent arguments, it was all the arguments added up. All the hurtful moments, the screaming, the isolations, the manipulations. All of them. I remember them all, because just as it hurt you, it hurt me. I know that we will never go back to what we used to be, and honestly, I wouldn't want to. Too much damage has been done.. and I don't think I'd survive you a second time.