𝙐𝙎 | Joe Goldberg ✓

16

I hate fights.

I hate how I can't see your silhouette walking around my apartment.

I hate how I can't listen to your laugh.

I hate how you simply disappeared from Mooney's without a sound.

But did we really break up Erica? Did you really abandon me without any sign or reason why?

I can't accept your shallow reasons, I can't accept these motives you claim are enough to end this perfect story we have build.

No, we were destinef to be together, then how can you simply let me down over such a selfish thing?

Now I can only stare at those stupid pictures you took in my phone, those selfies you you filled my gallery with to eternize the greatest love and now suffering I've ever felt.

Then how could we end up this way?

How can I just stare at the door like a dog waiting for you to appear? How can I turn on the radio and listen to the musics you like without wanting to tear my eyes apart? How can I open a single book and not think about you in every single line?

Do you suffer the same way I do?

I wonder if you're there, crying in your room, sinking your head into the pillows mumbling my name. If you got yourself one of those huge strawberry ice creams you like to buy at the market and devoured it while listening to Lana Del Rey. I wonder if you look outside the window and wait for me to show up in front of your building, begging for you to come back to me.

Or maybe you don't.

Maybe you feel relieved you got rid of me. Maybe you feel free enough to start anew, to take a new guy into your bed and whisper empty promises just as you did to me, to make him dance around your living room holding tight to you as I did.

No.

No one could ever make you feel the way I did.

I was the one for you. I am the one for you.

He opened the notebook fastly checking into the cameras he had inside her apartment. No sign of her.

I promised myself I wouldn't look at these. I told myself I would wait patiently until we could solve this out.

But it's been 3 weeks and you didn't answered calls or my texts. It's been 3 weeks and you didn't come back to work, I couldn't meet you in college, and you don't even use your fucking phone so I can catch a sign of you!

Where are you Erica? What happened to us?

We used to be so good, please, don't leave me like this, I beg you.

Or maybe did I scared you? Maybe I was too insistent, to rude to make you so scared.

God, I still remember the look in your eyes, they reflected pure horror in them. I hate that.

Because they remind me of...

-You will kill her.-The blonde ghost said to him.

-I won't.-He answered Beck, already mad enough.- I won't, Erica is different.

-She might be different but you aren't.-She remarked fiercely. -You continue the same murderer as you have always been. She saw that yesterday, you know she did. You felt it don't you?-She snapped the engines inside his brain- How she looked so scared, so fragile at you. She feared you, Joe. Just as I did, just as Candance did-