Fucking Detached

A Group of Fuck Ups

I remember I was only eleven years old when my dad left, I mean I get why he wanted to be away; away from mom, away from the memories of Nadine, away from the pain, but what about me? That's what I asked myself every night since then. Not that he was the best father anyway but definitely a better parent than mom. I used to believe they were meant for each other, that nobody else in the world could be better for them then the other. That is until mom found a new love, heroin. Heroin was the best boyfriend she had ever had or at least that's what she told me, yet it was my worst enemy. The nights of mom stumbling through the house yelling and throwing things, the bruises she would leave on me, her passing out mid sentence. It haunted my memories, so I began to try and stay out of the house as much as I could. Whether I was hanging out with friends or just leaving on my own I always found a way to be far from home, far from her. That brings me to the present, to the nights of parties and strangers, the days of high school and hangovers. The week long benders and months of mania, the void of emotions. My name is Nicky Jackson, I'm seventeen with a drug and alcohol addiction. I suppose the years of telling myself not be like my mother were a fail, the intrusive thoughts had gotten the best of me. Now, I'm barely passing high school due to my lack of effort, if I am to even show up that day.  You know those kids you move to the other side of the hallway when you see them? The ones who reek of weed and are always in trouble, typically can be found skipping class and getting high? Yep, that's my friend group, which consists of four people including myself. Tatum Thompson, she's the one who has a life ahead of her but is living in the moment. Her mom died when she was thirteen and that's when she started smoking weed and misbehaving but she's got a good home life and good grades. She is the one you wouldn't expect to hang out with us, but here we are. Then there's Griffin Barns, I call him Griff though, we've been friends the longest. He lives right next door to me, we were twelve the first time we actually started hanging out. My mom had just got done yelling at me, she had literally thrown a vase at my head, and damn did that hurt like a bitch. I ran upstairs into my room and locked the door, as I leaned against it she had been pounding on it, a single tear strolled down my face, the salt water from my tears and blood from the vase impact had mixed. I closed my eyes until she stopped, when I opened my eyes I could see some boy glancing at me through the window. He signaled for me to open my window then he put a ladder across so I could climb over and through his window. That was the first night I had ever smoked weed. I know, only twelve years old that's insane right? It felt good though, Griff and I connected that night, and have been inseparable since. No, we're not dating or anything, we're just flirty friends with a few benefits here and there. He's also the drug dealer of the school, so he's where I get all mine from, and who I do them with as well. Lastly, there's Scarlett, but we all just call her Scar. She was the last to join the group, she moved to our school, Hanson High School, two years ago, her dad had some kind of job that made them move around a whole bunch but this was their last destination. Only because he got fired, she was already a little rebellious before she started hanging with us we definitely made an impact on how much she rebelled though. The way we met her was at a huge party, she was drunk as hell and a little stoned when she bumped in to me. At first I yelled at her to watch where she was going, but I was high off a few pills at the time. Tatum thought she was hot and got her phone number and the next day they decided to hangout, they got a little stoned together that night, one thing led to the next and when Tatum woke up in the morning she was next to her if you know, you know. After that Scar became part of the group, and after a few months of flirting Scar and Tatum started dating. We may be a group of trashy druggies, but at least we're labeled as that together you know?