What If?

Monkeying Around - 10K Reads Special!

Just a little thank you for What If? hitting ten thousand likes on Wattpad! Despite the image above, this story is not about the animated versions of the Kratt Brothers. It is about their real-life selves, and what if . . . this happened?

Chris and Martin had just wrapped up filming their sixth episode of Zoboomafoo. A black jaguar had come to frolic in an above-ground pool brought in especially for filming. The jaguar was really cute. He played with a ball. Everything seemed to go really well. It was only Martin who knew what really happened . . . well, *almost* happened.

Chris had been busy talking to the camera, to the children who would watch their popular show, when Martin saw the animal trainer who had brought in the jaguar move very fast. The man basically tackled the big cat as it was about to pounce on Chris. Chris was totally clueless. No crew noticed either, it happened so fast.

Martin looked at the animal trainer with wide eyes. The man's face was white. Martin's was whiter. The man hustled the panther into the van going back to the zoo.

While the crew cleaned up, Chris looked at Martin. He frowned. "Are you okay, brother? You look a little pale."

"Oh . . . uh – must be something I ate."

"From the snack machine?"

"Yeah, that's probably it."

Chris laughed. "I never thought it would be a good idea to eat spaghetti out of a vending machine. But we've eaten much worse out of our backpacks. You've never gotten sick before."

Martin tried to smile.

"Sit down. I'll bring you some water." Chris left.

Martin sat. He thought about what might have happened if the animal trainer had not been watching so closely, been so attentive to the unpredictable creature. He imagined claws, teeth, screams, and blood.

"Urp!" Martin covered his mouth with his hand and ran to the bathroom where he was sick.

Chris came back with the water. "Martin?" He looked around. "Where did you go?"

Locked in the bathroom, Martin washed his hands and face. The cool, clear water reminded him of a special trip they had taken to Japan.

There was a blizzard, and they were following snow monkeys. The monkeys went to a hot spring and climbed in to soak.

Chris took off his backpack and set it down. Then he started taking off all his clothes.

Martin was a little surprised.

"That one looks like Grandpa, don't you think?" said Chris as he shucked off his snow pants.

"Um . . ." Martin squinted. "Yeah, I think you're right."

Chris laughed. "Come on in!"

"Me?"

"No, I'm talking to the monkey on your back."

"I mean, I could stay here and film."

"No, let's just relax."

"Oh - okay. . ."

Martin stripped and joined Chris in the hot spring. They made ridiculous faces as they slowly lowered themselves into the near-scalding water. They stayed in one corner of the pool to better observe the monkeys.

Martin felt Chris' warm hand on his back as he stabilized himself. "Look at that big one. He must be the alpha male."

For some reason it sped up Martin's heart rate. Must just be the hot water, he thought, or the fact that the alpha male was coming closer. And he did not look happy.

"Whoa!" said Chris. He scooched closer to Martin.

And that's when something kicked off. Something Martin had never felt before.

Chris was on him and Martin liked it.

He didn't want him off.

He drew Chris closer, slipping an arm under his shoulders (under the guise of protecting him).

Chris was fixated on the monkeys and didn't seem to notice. Far from being a bunch of primate hippies Zenning out, the strict hierarchy that was in place among the macaques was evidenced by quite a bit of violence and screeching.

Glowering at Chris the alpha male leapt high in the air, spinning and showing off his superiority. The other monkeys watched with excitement.

"Look at his prominent, protruding forehead!," said Chris. "It's just a constant battle for monkeys vying for alpha male!"

"Mmm," said Martin. "And the females follow a matrilineal order, with young females inheriting the rank of the mother."

As the alpha male was only bluffing, he snorted and ambled off to another corner of the pool, sending monkeys flying who happened to be in his way.

"Wow!" Chris threw his arms around Martin. "I'm so happy to be sharing this experience with you."

Martin closed his eyes. He held Chris for a bit, in the hot pool, the blizzard falling all around them.

That night, in a Japanese inn, Martin couldn't fall asleep. There were so many types of families in the creature world. What family would he and Chris be . . . if they weren't bound by . . . certain taboos.

In the futon, there was something else prominent and protruding. Martin quickly took care of it and went to sleep. 

THE END