What If?

What If? Part 5

"I – I don't believe in m – " stammered Chris, held in the grip of the apparition.

"Don't worry," said the Blue Fairy to Martin. "I have brought in an ally." 

Someone stepped between Chris and the appartion of his grandfather. A voice called out: "Leave him alone, you big bully!"

 In the semi-dark room Chris squinted. Green hair, green pixie wings. What was going on? Was he losing his mind over his brother?

The apparition wavered. Chris had a moment of clarity. The green guy's voice rang a bell.

"Who are you?" asked Chris. 

"Oh my gosh!" said Green Guy. "Big, BIG fan of your show. I knew you were the kings of nature shows when I saw the episode with my favorite animal - 'Honey badger don't care.' I mean, I know I make fun of nature shows, but those are just stodgy. I would never - "

"RANDALL!" said the Blue Fairy.

"R-Randall? YouTube Randall; 'Honey Badger don't care' guy?," said Chris. "Oh."

Randall looked at Chris expectantly.

"Uh," said Chris, "my kids love you."

"Squeeee!" said You Tube Randall. "I'm totally fan-boying. Do you like my wings? I got them online."

"Really." said Martin to the blue glowing woman. "What. The. Actual. Fuck."

"He was the best I could do on such short notice," said the Fae apologetically.

The apparition returned, swooping towards Martin and Chris. 

Randall held up his arms. "Ok. Okay, I saw this in a movie: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

 The shadow moved right through the would-be protector.

"Holy Guacamole! It passed! Let's see you get past Petunia and Theodore! Go honey badgers, sicc him!" 

 Two snarling, short-legged mammals with white stripes on their backs chomped at the supernatural cloak and tore off mouthfuls of it. The torn pieces of the cloak dissipated as black smoke. It must have had a vile taste, because the animals drooled green spit on the floor.

Randall saw the drool."Eww, what IS that? Jeezus CHRIST, Petunia and Theodore, that's disgusting!" said Randall, stating his YouTube catchphrase.

Blue Fairy aimed her wand at the spirit's eyes, blasting him with blue light. The manifestation of his grandfather was losing its grip on Chris.

The honey badger .. the toughest animal in Africa .. yes .. I am Chris Kratt, Creature Adventurer. Chris stood shakily to his feet and addressed the monster:

"You are wrong about us. You have no power over me anymore. There is magic; it's because of love. Love did ALL this. I do believe in magic, I believe! So go to whatever hell you are needed, but don't bother me ever again!"

The black shadow screamed a cry of rage and vanished forever. 

Chris knelt next to Martin and kissed him on the lips. Martin opened his blue eyes. After Chris had looked into the eyes of a devil,  Martin's eyes were those of an angel. Everyone smiled, but Martin had the biggest grin.

"You're no Prince Charming," said Martin.

"You're no Snow White," said Chris. They touched their foreheads to each other, overcome with emotion.

Chris helped Martin to a sitting position. "No Prince Charming, but you are 'charming' the pants off of me," said Martin. They gazed at each other. Then they leaned in, tilting their heads, and kissed gently, tentatively. When they separated, Chris turned to the Fae. "So if we don't do what our wish was, he will die?"

"Yes," said the Blue Fairy. "Unfortunately, Martin's heart will give out." Right then Chris knew what had to be done. Martin saw it in his lover's eyes.

"You don't have to do this, Chris,"said Martin. Oh, but I want you to.

"They'll be ... okay. They can live without me. But I can't live without you. I can't live with you dying." He wrapped his arms and legs around Martin. 

They were about to kiss again, when Chris felt someone watching him. "Is that a video camera?" 

"Aw, it's a Kodak moment," said Randall.

"Put that away," said Chris.

Randall exclaimed: "OH CHRIST ON A CRUMPET!" Because an ambulance, police car, fire truck screeched into the parking lot. "Blarty Boy called in the calvary." He looked at the lady. "That's our cue to exit, right, doll?"

"Yes, and you must make your wish immediately. As soon as the next human enters the room, the magic will be gone. Goodbye and good luck."

"I know incest is taboo, but the police car is a little over the top," said Chris to Martin. Martin laughed. "You made a funny, little brother. That is a very good thing."

"We're a very good thing," replied the brunette.

"Isn't that PRECIOUS?" said the Blue Fairy.

"Are you guys STILL here? Thank you, thank you both for your help but .. a little privacy?"

"Winking out now." With a swirl in the air a vortex spiraled open and shut. There was no trace of Randall and the Blue Fairy.

The bros heard a horde of footsteps running down the hall toward the door. They looked at each other. It was decision time.

"Magic?" said Martin.

"Magic," replied Chris.

TO BE CONTINUED