Fate

Pt6

Jay

I don't know what was happening to me.

I had never felt this way before.

The things that came over me when Sophia stood in the middle of the hall.

And when Jackson was being rude to her, I wanted to beat him to death.

I wanted to hurt my friends because of a girl who had been ignoring me the entire week.

I was confused.

Like out of my mind confused.

Emotions were filling into me every second of every fucking day and I didn't know what to do about it.

Love.

I had never been in love before.

I knew I was incapable of it.

Not because I didn't believe in it but because I didn't want it.

I didn't want another person to have power over me.

I wanted the power.

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As I left the hall, I knew I can't be assed with school.

I didn't care that I was gonna have my parents breathing down my neck again but I'm sorry but it is so hard pleasing them.

It's always what they want me to do with my life.

But what about me?

Do I not get a say in my own life?

I sent a quick text to Tyler to cover for me in lesson and headed out with some older friends who I used to hang out with.

They handed me a cigar and I let my mind relax as I breathed in the smoke.

Before long, I heard the bell go and decided I would head to my last lesson.

On the way there, I see Sophia talking to the quiet boy me and Jackson we're picking on before.

That ended when Sophia jumped in to save the day and I really couldn't be bovered explaining to Jackson why I gave in when I didn't know myself so I stormed out of there without a blink in anyone's direction.

No one ever had the balls to stand up to us.

So why did i let it happen?

I looked up at them with anger in my face.

Why? Why was I feeling like this?

I stormed away but before I could get away any further, I feel a hand pull on my shoulder.

Annoyed, I turn around with a murderous gaze on my face.

That disappears when I see Sophia standing there and I could sense her nervousness from a mile off.

"Can I help you," I say all of a sudden.

"umm, thank you," she mutters quickly.

"For what?"

"earlier when you umm," she keeps stuttering and stops when she notices me grinning.

"What," she says, now staring at me blankly.

"U look cute," she stares at me for a moment and then a smile covers her face.

I loved her smile and how her full lips complement her face.

"No jay I'm serious, even though u weren't doing the right thing before, u did the right thing after."

"I know," I said removing the smile from my face with a stern one, "I did it for you though."

"Why?"

I didn't know what to say because the thing is I didn't know why did I do it?

I didn't know at all.

All of a sudden, a voice breaks the silence.

"Am I interrupting anything?"

Jackson.

That guy was pissing me off more and more by the second.

"We were just—"

"nothings happening, she just tried talking to me," I blurt out.

Sophia stands there, she stares at me with hurt in her eyes before quickly walking off.

I shout and walk after her but Jackson grabs my arm.

"Dude, she's not worth it."

Was she worth it?

Who knows?

I don't know why I said what I said but it just came out. I couldn't let Jackson get the wrong idea. She'd be under all the spotlight and it would get messy and complicated.

I pushed Jackson off me and stormed out of school

All for going in for another lesson.

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When I got home, I sank into my bed.

Luckily my mum and dad weren't home.

They never were.

Always on business trips or out of town.

I was used to it now though.

No siblings.

Nothing.

Just me being alone.

I'd learnt it the hard way and maybe I had excepted my fate.

Maybe that's why I felt I couldn't love.

Maybe.