things are getting worse

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So, yea ahit has gotten worse, I've been getting really paranoid, I keep basically going blank, like there's no thoughts in my head, and I'll just stare usually at the ground or just straight ahead, in these moments it feels like I can't move, like my body is heavy.  Sometimes I have moments where I go blank, then get really angry, and want to scream or destroy stuff, I've been doing my best to keep it under control, which isn't easy, I've had times where I look at a specific spot in my room, basically right infront of my closet, and for whatever reason my vision will act weird, and get abit blury, and I'll somewhat see double, when this happens it also will look like there's, fog/smoke. I haven't figured out why it does that yet sadly.

In other news, I'm thinking of sitting in my backyard tonight, to see if anything happens.  I might go on cleverest aswell to see if it says anything weird to me.

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