Kim taehyung (author), a multitalented 20 years old who is going through depression because of some inevitable events that happened in his life, problems he is facing, diseases he have and more. He still trying live even tho he does not have will, still surviving in this harsh cruel world where everyone just using him is all alone. Only his mother is supporting him and he wants to live up to his mothers expectations, she just want his son to be successful, happy in his life.
Author's POV:- I am tired of my life, I m having nightmares and negative thoughts are driving me crazy. I want to die , but at the same time I wanna live. I am weak, but I want to get stronger.
I am powerless but I need it(power) the most, I want it to face my degenerate self. Now am looking at my pathetic self, and keep saying bad stuff about myself. I did so many wrong things/deeds and I regret doing it. My mother don't deserve son like me, she deserve good son like god Rama.
Idk why I am writing this shit, my head feels dizzy. Lately, I am not getting good sleep and food on time. It affected my health badly. I am so useless, I am losing myself. I finally lost it (hahahhaahahah).
I m going nuts. I should just come in front of train, bus or car, so they can run over me. Maybe I should burn myself up and perish.
Day by day my mental is going bad. I am a toy and for me others are toy, world is using me and I am using world.
Some loves my cute filtered pics, some feels nausea when they see me in real life, my acne is getting worse.
I don't have enough money to treat my diseases, have no job and job agencies are not giving work to students.
How am gonna pay my college fees, how I am gonna send money to home, how am gonna survive this coming winter, how am gonna pay my rent.
These questions keep me frustrated all dag, even though I have so many friends but no one is real cus in the end they all expect something from me except my mom and I am living for her to see smile on her face.
