Change Of Heart || Lee Know

Ch 10: THE RUSH OF ANXIETY

3rd person's pov

"Hello everyone! I'm soon to be a rookie Lee Know with my original name as Lee Minho. Nice to meet you all!"

His voice echoed in her ears. She couldn't believe it. She was looking down thinking whether it's real or not. How could this happen?! Please tell me that it's not real. After all this time why did he have to show up? What should I do now?

Jiyoon slowly looked up and saw Minho smiling brightly at everyone. While Mr. Kim and others were discussing about him and his debut she was lost in his eyes. Minho too was now looking at her. But this time his eyes were something else. Jiyoon found it strange because the eyes which used to look her with so much hatred is now looking at her eyes telling a completely different story.

In physical appearance he had changed a lot. His face looks a little slimmer than before. His body looks quite healthy and somewhat buff. Though there was not much change in his height but he sure was taller than her.

On the other hand Minho had something else in his mind. Is that really Bae Jiyoon? Woah it's unbelievable! It has been so many years since I last saw her. I had no idea that I would meet her again in a place like this.

She really has changed a lot I guess. But I still prefer her with her old glasses though. She looked cute as if she was Harry Potter's lil sister. Her button nose is still the same so does her eyes. But now she looks more mature and cool. I kinda like it.

Wait is that Kang fucking Jaemin beside her?! What is he doing here? Oh boy don't tell me that he also works here! Great I hate his guts even more now. They are not dating right?

While Minho was there staring at his lost in thoughts, Jiyoon didn't feel any same. Instead her breathing got heavy and started roaming her eyes anywhere and everywhere except on him. Her anxiety was slowly coming in attack.

She couldn't help but her mind started seeing that past trauma which she saw again even after with those help she got. Those moments which she so hard to forget was slowly starting to replay in her mind.

"Here she comes the nerdy Jiyoon"

"How dare you talk back at me bitch"

"You are so easy"

"Do you even look at yourself  in the mirror? Bet her parents are regretting to have her as their daughter"

"Know your place. You are way too low to be on level like us"

"I hate you"

Those bruises, those scars, those laughs, those mockings, those degrading insults, those bullying, those voices were screaming loud in her head. All of these made her feel sick. The trauma hit her hard and after all these years of training to be mentally stable was going to break anytime soon now.

Once again she felt like running away. From everyone and this place. Wanted to be in a place where no one was there but only her. Why can't I have peace like others? Is it too much to ask for a normal life for at least once?

As Jiyoon started shaking her leg under the table and rubbed her hands unconsciously, Jaemin begin to notice her. He could sense that something was wrong with her. He knew her well and he knew she would often do that when something or someone bothered her. He gently placed a hand on Jiyoon's shoulder and asked "Yoon ahh is something wrong? Are you alright? Why are you behaving like this again?" He turned her chair to make her face towards him.

Jiyoon could feel tears forming in her eyes and quickly gulped down. She blinked those tears away before Jaemin could see them. She looked at him and quickly forced out a fake smile "I'm completely fine Jaemin! Thanks for your concern."

Jaemin let out a sigh and said "Yoon I know you're lying. I know you very well and you are definitely not fine. Now tell me what's wrong? I want to help you." His eyes were filled with concern by now.

"I'm fine. I'm telling the truth. It just feels very suffocating here. I'm going up to get some fresh air. Don't worry about me" Jiyoon took her purse and got up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" He gently asked.

"I'm sorry but I want to be alone for some time" She explained.

"Alright as you wish" He replied.

Jiyoon excused herself in the conference room and got out. She hurriedly took steps causing the sound of her heels clicking on the floor and went towards the elevator. She pressed the button numerous times hoping that the elevator would come soon but that's not how it works babe.

Soon the doors opened with no people and she swiftly got in. As the doors closed, she let out a huge sigh. Not having Minho in her sight helped her a bit but the anxiety didn't go away yet. She tapped her foot impatiently as the lift went up and when it reached the rooftop, she went outside.

Here Minho could sense that something was wrong with the way Jiyoon was behaving strange the moment she saw him. Then he figured out. She must have been shocked. Was she afraid of me? I'm starting to get worried about her. I didn't even say anything but I guess I fucked up again.

He made an excuse to Mr. Kim that he needed to restroom cause the emergency was rising up. Mr. Kim smiled and granted Minho his permission. Little did Mr. Kim knew that Minho had different plans.

Remembering the conversation between Jiyoon and Jaemin which he eavesdropped, he went towards the elevator. As he entered the elevator different thoughts were going on inside his head.

I should probably say it to her. But how am I gonna I say it? I don't even know where to start! Will she even believe me? What if she runs away before I can start?

No no don't think like that Minho. I can do this! She would listen. She has to. I hope she will believe me. I hope she will forgive me.