stockholm syndrome | minsung

chapter seven

oh shit.

fuck.

what had he done?!

biting into his arm to silence his screams sort of helped.

or maybe it didn't.

it hurt.

jisung had to refrain himself from crying out of pure embarrassment. why would he think kissing minho was a good idea?! what if he was about to be murdered for misunderstanding the vibes?

rubbing his arm, jisung attempted taking deep breaths. in through the nose, out through the mouth.

it didn't help.

his shaking fingers moved over the marks where his teeth had sunk in.

it hurt. everything hurt. his whole body ached.

but especially his chest. a house laid over it. of perhaps an elephant. whatever it was, it stopped him from fulfilling his breathing exercises.

why were there beads of sweat dripping down his face?

jisung tried the breathing exercise again. it still did absolutely nothing.

neither did curling up into a tiny ball in the corner of the room, apparently.

his heart pounded. was it about to beat out of his chest?!

hyperventilating. that was what he was doing. short, quick breaths. what was going on?

"i'm going insane. i've gone insane. i'm insane." jisung mumbled to himself, shaking his hands up and down to get rid of the sudden numbness they were emerged in.

make it stop.
oh god, make it stop.

clawing at his skin with his growing nails, jisung could feel the tears forcing their way out of his eyes. everything was stressing him out to the max.

"i want out." he whispered to himself, burying his hands in his hair and continuing to drag his fingernails harshly against his scalp.

tears burned in his eyes, leaving warm stripes on his cheeks. still keeping up with the breathing exercise, he began rocking back and forth slightly. somewhere, he had read that it would help calm him down.

it did not.

it didn't do the opposite either; he simply felt like a giant baby who could not take care of himself.

another sob escaped from his mouth. this feeling was new. never before had he experienced this kind of panic.

"are you okay?" a sudden voice made jisung flinch and curl up even closer to the wall, hiding his face in his arms. he hadn't even heard the creaking of the stairs, nor the door opening.

"i'm so sorry!" he sobbed. "i'm sorry that i kissed you! i don't know why i did it, it was fucking stupid of me, i know! please don't kill me!"

silence.

then, slow footsteps. they were approaching jisung at an atrociously slow pace. his entire body tensed up when a hand landed on his shoulder.

"jisung," minho spoke with a calm voice. "it's okay. i didn't mind." there was a hint of a smile in his words, which made jisung feel safe enough to peak his head up.

it was true, minho was smiling. a very comforting smile, even. jisung's stomach was doing flips alongside his heart. quickly, jisung rubbed away the snot from underneath his nose.

he knew he looked like a mad man. but he could not care less.

hesitantly, he moved forward. with the smile growing slightly bigger on his face, minho stretched his arms out, bringing jisung in for a hug. with his head now practically buried in minho's chest, jisung caught a whiff of the very perfume that he had been obsessing over the past few days.

comfort spread throughout his body. comfort, and a sense of safety.

"please don't leave me." minho mumbled against the younger boy's hair.

"baby," jisung began as a joke. but the rest of his sentence was in full seriousness. "i'll never leave if you keep holding me this way."