Broken Halo | Chanlix

30) Beginning Of The End

4 years later

"Lixie. Your food is getting cold!" Someone shouted to him from outside

"Coming." He shouted back as he put on his last earring and looked at himself in the mirror feeling pretty satisfied.

"You look stunning as always. My pretty baby." His husband said from the doorway as he was walking in. He came behind him and hugged him locking eyes with him in the mirror.

"Is everyone here?" Felix asked and Chan nodded.

"Minho is calling for you. The rest are here and everyone is pretty much chilling. Oh, and your food isn't getting cold Minho is trying to lure you out. And I said I would come get you." Chan told him and Felix rolled his eyes, typical Minho.

"Uncle Lixie!" A small voice said and Felix turned around in an instant at the sweet sound.

"My baby. How are you Sujinnie?" Felix asked picking up the 3 year old girl.

"Appa cawing yu." The little girl said in broken words, she had started to speak and Felix found it adorable.

"Okay, let's go see what Appa wants." Felix said and came outside to see all his friends in the garden of his and Chan's house.

Minho and Jisung were by the barbecue and their friends all had drinks in their hands. They seemed to be enjoying themselves and Felix was glad.

"There's the birthday boy. Finally decided to come out of hiding?" Jeongin said and came up to Felix to hug him.

"Hey Innie." Felix greeted.

"Lixie." Changbin came and greeted also pulling him into a hug. And one by one they all came to great the birthday boy. All except one.

They were all here, all 7, but the 8th should've been too.

It had been 4 long and painful years I'll have to admit. It wasn't easy, it was never easy mostly for Chan, Changbin and Felix. Chan suffered a lot when he found out his best friend, his brother for 10 years was gone. Changbin suffered because Hyunjin was his first love. His life. And Felix, and ex love but also a best friend.

However, from the 3, Chan suffered most. Especially after knowing he was the reason. He was suffering mentally so much that Felix and Changbin had to take him to psychiatrists and therapists but nothing seemed to be working. He blamed himself too much.

Flashback

Hey guys. So I'll be gone if you're reading this. I'm sorry, really. I just couldn't do it anymore and I know that sounds really cliche but I couldn't. I never wanted to leave any of you but I was suffering so much, I had been for the past 8 years and I'm done. Changbin, you were the last person I wanted to see. I planned I to do this before meeting you in the shooting range, I just wanted to say everything first and I did. Thank you for being there in my final breaths. Lixie. My sweet beautiful Lixie. I'm sorry I couldn't love you the way you needed me to. And you didn't love me the same either. Your destiny was written with Chan's and as painful as it is, I needed to accept it. But I didn't want to. I couldn't.

I love you Chan. So damn much. And trust me, not platonically. I hated it because you always saw me as a brother so I knew I could never have you. You always called me your brother, you never saw me any differently and that's how I knew that you and I would never happen. And it was so painful to see you happy and in love with Felix. You deserve that happiness Channie. I just wish it was me who was getting that love from you.

8 years I spent loving you. I wouldn't mind loving you another 80, but seeing you with Felix broke me. I wanted you Chan. I wanted to be loved by you. I wanted to be the reason you breathed, I wanted your eyes on me, I wanted you to hold my hand, to kiss me, to hug me, to love me. I tried so hard to break you and Felix up because I didn't want you to have him. You already took everything in me, without knowing, my heart, my love, and I didn't want you to take Felix from me too.