𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐌𝐏𝐒𝐄 𝐎𝐅 𝐔𝐒 | 𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘪 & 𝘳𝘦𝘰 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

9-Nagi Seishiro Was my Santuary

Nagi Seishiro was my sanctuary.

We met in middle school when we were just 11 and since then we had been completely inseparable. Before we had met I had always struggled with making close friends, a lot of times I felt like I was a burden to the people around me. I always felt like the last option in every situation, and it didn't help that I struggled to open up about my issues to anyone. I was always the friend who walked behind the group when there wasn't enough room in the hallway. But Nagi wasn't like that. When I was with him I never felt pushed to the side. He was one of the people in my life who I knew I could trust with anything. Never once, in my 6 years of knowing him did he make me feel unwanted or judged. I would talk, and he would listen. It didn't matter what we were doing, we were doing it together.

Things changed a lot when my dad passed away, I was only 13 at the time. Prior to his death, his grounded and sweet personality would help calm my mom's short temperament, but now that he was gone there was simply no buffer between my mom's anger and instability and me. Some days it was fine, other days I would come home to my mom angry and drunk. When she lost her job a year of occasional yellings and over-drinking turned into frequent physical abuse. In a way, I lost my mom too. The one who cared about me was gone and replaced by an angry lady I could barely recognize.

My friendship with Nagi changed the day I came to school with splotchy bruises on my legs and face which I had tried to cover up with cheap foundation. He didn't say anything during our classes or during lunch time, but after school he had dragged me to his house, boiled cup noodles for me, and held my hand until I fell asleep on his couch watching tv together. And so the tradition continued, if things got too difficult to handle at my house or if Nagi noticed me hurt or acting differently I would stay at his house for a couple of nights. It usually wasn't a problem considering his parents were never home and my mom wasn't usually worried about my whereabouts. The routine always stayed the same though, I would go to his house, he would boil me cup noodles or instant ramen, bandage and disinfect cuts if there were any, and we would cuddle until I fell asleep. His treatment of me during these times made me feel so special considering how lazy he typically was, it felt nice knowing that when it really mattered he would always be there for me. He would never ask me questions about the injuries I had gotten or what things were like at home, but every time, without fail, he would say "If you want to talk about you can." Nothing more and nothing less, just an offer to vent. And sometimes I would, and other times it was too difficult to process, but either way he would just listen to whatever I had to say without any judgment. I guess we grew more and more codependent during this time. When I would stay over I would usually clean up his messy room and brush his hair because he was usually too lazy to do either. In many ways I think I grew to depend on him too much.

Nagi Seishiro was my escape from reality, my very own sanctuary. I never felt worried or scared around him, I could fall asleep next to him knowing that I wouldn't wake up to hitting or screaming. That's probably what made me fall in love with him. Since we had first met I had always had a small crush on him, but being with him this much, being held by him in a way that almost crossed the line over from platonic to romantic made me fall in love with him. I never really made an attempt to pursue him though, I had always assumed that my feelings were one sided, not that I could tell either way. Nagi is a quiet stoic person, and even the conversations that we did have were never on the topic of romance. In part, that's my fault, I was too scared to say anything out of fear of rejection. I knew that telling him the truth about how I felt could ruin our friendship forever, and that wasn't something I was willing to sacrifice in the name of love. I fully intended to keep it this way forever, even if we could never be more than just friends, I would be happy as long as I could stay by his side. But the inevitable day came where I was forced to confront my feelings.

˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

A/N: more nagi x y/n lore next chapter !!