Cooter's Trifecta

Part 1

David came crashing out of the forest in a sweaty heap he was bleeding profusily and his spiririts were low. He lay down and began to die and into his mind there came a voice " we are the cooters trifecta and we have cum to save your soul." and then they were revealed in the light. The cooters trifecta was actually a very small man with three heads. "Trhe cooters trifecta are we, and we have posses riddles three..." david was surprised and shocked to the point of death as he lay there dying the cooters trifecta began to talk.

"*teeteeheehee*" one of the heads began to chuckle. "Our riddles are notorious for their difficulty."

Another head chuckled and finally, in a booming voice asked, "What gets wetter and wetter the more it dries?"

Now, David had been around the block a few times. One might say this wasn't his first rodeo. "Only a fool would answer a towel, but I am no fool. I say that a cup of hair and sour cream must get wetter and wetter the more it dries!"

All of the cooter's trifecta gasped suddenly. "No mortal has ever answered this riddle before! Who are you!!?!??"

"Who am i???? Do you really not recognize me? With my big luxurious baby blue cheese head and slimy behind??"

"I'm sorry but I don't"

"Well then we will have to race I guess. I bet I can beat you to the other side of that road" "I bet you're a slow poke"

As they raced, the baby blue cheese headed snail, his name was Tingle because he made you tingle with happiness, got so far ahead of the other that the race was virtually over before it even started. The other man said shamefully, "you are the fastest snail I know. What be your name?"

"Well, my name is Tingle."

"Fuck you." This came as a shock because Tingle thought they were friends. The cooter only cared about cooting and loved so deeply– not Tingle though. He was going to Hell! Tingle went to hell after he heard that. The cooter trifecta took him down down.

"Here is where you will be snailing. You can't race your way outta this one pookie."

Tingle shook with fury until his bean waste came out. This is when the real party starts.

The cooter heads licked the bean waste until it smeared all over their faces. Tingle had control. He shoved and shoved!

"You bastards" said the man in the yellow hat. He was tall, taller than his forefathers even.

Tingle scurried into the dark. He was so blue and he wanted them to see how beautiful he was, but shame brought him down. He spared the life of cooters three. Three cooter and three riddles. It all made sense. One lives, the other dies. Tingle perished into the flames of hellfire and the man in the yellow hat laughed and again said "you bastards."

Cooter lived on. Never aging, never dying, always asking: "why?" Until one day the man in the yellow hat returned. Cooter was wrinkly but not in an old way more like in a needs to be ironed kind of way. He said are you ready? Cooter said hell yeah brother. And they walked, hand in hand, into the kingdom of heaven.

HE IS RISEN!!!