Draco's Reason

Broken

***TRIGGER WARNING***
This chapter has mentions of abuse and PTSD flashbacks. Remember to take care of your mental health first. If this can or will trigger a harmful response, skip the parts or this chapter. I will mark the beginning and end of the part with three asterisks {***}. I love all my readers and hope that you keep yourselves safe
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   Draco sat in that storage closet for who knows how long. He heard students go to and from dinner. Then he heard Filch and his cat go on their nightly roam, trying to catch students out past curfew. Once all the noises stopped Draco stood and made his way out of the cramped space. He walked silently towards the hospital wing. The door creaked slighty upon opening it, but Draco ducked behind a curtain when Madam Pomfrey stuck her head out the door to check on the noise.

    He stayed hidden until he was sure Madam Pomfrey was asleep. Draco stood and made his way to the only closed off bed in the ward. He slipped between the curtain and sat in the chair next to the sleeping boy.

    “You worried me you know? I was afraid I wasn’t going to be able to cast in time, or even at all,” Draco knew the boy wouldn’t wake up for a while, but it was nice to be able to talk to someone. “I wonder if you’d be able to ward the dementors off somehow. I’ll look into it. Maybe that will help repay the kindness that you’ve shown me.”

    Draco laid his head on his crossed arms. Harry looked so at ease when he was sleeping. His past and present seemed not to bother him in his sleep. Draco was glad that Harry at least had this escape from reality, even if it was only for a short while.

    Draco stood and patted Harry’s arm, “Get better soon. Ron has a potion for you to drink.”

    Draco slipped out of the hospital wing and returned silently to the Slytherin common room. As Draco walked past the table in the center of the room he noticed a letter addressed to him. He opened it slowly and recognised Narcissa’s hand writing right away. Draco scanned through it quickly, Narcissa hardly ever wrote to him. If she needed something from him she would tell Lucius to write it down.

    When he finished reading the letter, Draco looked around the table for a piece of parchment and quill. Scratching his response, he grabbed some of the floo powder he kept hidden in the common room.

    “Malfoy Manor,” Draco whispered as he threw the letter and powder into the fire.

    Narcissa had said that Buckbeak’s trial was finally starting to go somewhere and Lucuis needed Draco to come home for the winter holiday. Draco hadn’t gone home for the holiday since he had started at Hogwarts. What were they planning? Draco couldn’t risk disobeying the two. His worry about his siblings outweighed any bad thing that could happen to him.

    Draco sat on the couch and sighed deeply. Maybe he could invite one of his friends to Malfoy Manor. Maybe Lucius wouldn’t be as harsh with another person around. No. Lucius would never allow it. He hasn’t let anyone outside of his death eater friends into the house since the twins were born. Draco had no choice but to go home. What a terrifying thought. Going home. Draco scoffed at his own thoughts. Malfoy Manor wasn’t his home, the only reason he stayed was for Greyson, Twyla, and Naomi.

    Draco stood, he would put up with the torment until he was 18. Then, he would get out and take his siblings with him. He didn’t need anyone else. He could do this alone.

    Draco let days pass without talking to Ron or Harry, who had gotten out of the hospital  wing two days after he fell. He didn’t need to drag the two of them into his problems. They were too kind for that.

    Days turned to weeks of Draco avoiding the other boys. The weather turned biting and served as a warning of impending doom for Draco. He just had to make it through the last bit of the term and then he would get to see his siblings.

    Draco was reminded of the upcoming Hogsmeade trip by Crabbe and Goyle. Draco thought of what he should get his siblings and parents for Christmas. He would have to look around a few shops for his parents. Some new toys for the three would be perfect. They’ve been begging for something new to play with.

    Draco overheard the short conversation between McGonagall and Harry and took a deep breath. Now he would just have to avoid running into Ron. Which was apparently easier said than done.

    Crabbe and Goyle saw Hermione and Ron walk into the forest towards the shrieking shack and decided that tormenting them meant more than enjoying Hogsmeade. So off they took, with Draco tailing slightly behind them. They found the two discussing the history and stories behind the decrepit building. Draco had an appreciation for the amount of care and passion Hermione had for learning and sharing her knowledge.

    ***Crabbe started the teasing, followed by Goyle. The two looked back at Draco, expecting him to join in on the teasing. And he did. Of course he did. He had a reputation to uphold. Only, they had snowballs thrown at them. Crabbe and Goyle had their capes pulled over their heads and ended up in the snow piles by the side of the path. Draco himself was pushed onto his back and had the air knocked out of him. As he turned onto his stomach to pull himself up his ankles were grabbed and he was pulled through the gate leading up to the house.

    Draco’s breathing picked up and his hands scrambled against the snow covered stone path. His gloves ripped as he struggled to grab onto something, anything. Draco couldn’t stop it. He watched through glazed over eyes as Crabbe and Goyle ran away. But that registered deeply in his mind. Draco didn’t know who or what was pulling him, but he could feel Narcissa’s thin fingers and manicured nails digging into his skin. He could feel the pain of being dragged down a flight of stairs, could feel the pain of his bones fixing themselves. His eyes flashed quickly when his foot was let go, but Draco didn’t move. He knew what happened next.

    Lucius would grab his hair. Would smack him around with the cane because Twyla, Greyson, and Naomi were alive. Because Draco wouldn’t allow them to die. Because Draco learned how to make the medicinal potions to keep them alive and well.

    Draco pulled himself to all fours. He needed to check on the three. Lucius wasn’t kind when Draco was at school. A soft hand landed on Draco’s shoulder. And Draco flinched. He pulled back and breathed deeply. His face was warm. Was he crying? No, Malfoy’s don’t cry. Draco looked in front of him at two boys, not two parents standing above him.

    “Are you okay? You’re bleeding,” Ron spoke first.

    Draco spoke last, “I’m fine,” he stood and started to walk off, blood dripping off his now frozen fingers. “Leave me alone.”

    They didn’t try to follow him. Draco didn’t want them to. He didn’t want them to care. Didn’t want them involved with his family.***

    In Hogsmeade Draco bought new gloves for himself, a new coat for Narcissa, a vial of Lucius’ favorite ink, and three new toys. He saw Ron and Hermione follow footsteps into the forest and decided it wasn’t worth it. He knew he was just going to make things worse. That’s all Draco was good at anyway.

    Draco didn't catch up with Crabbe or Goyle for the rest of the outing. Which was fine by him. They didn't seem to care when he needed them too. By the time he made it back to the school grounds it was getting dark, and he was growing increasingly cold. Draco decided to forgo dinner and headed directly to his dorm, where he placed a quick heating spell on his bed and sat down. There was maybe a week and a half before the end of the term and he needed to prepare himself to go home.

    The cape that was for Narcissa had been carefully wrapped in beautiful paper at the store as had his father's ink. But the toys he had bought weren't wrapped in anything and Draco knew his siblings well enough to understand the joy they felt when unwrapping their presents.

    A small ball and paddle was wrapped for Twyla, a train set for Grayson, and a new stuffed toy for Naomi. Once Draco had finished wrapping them he placed them gently in his trunk along with the cape and ink.

    Taking off his new gloves and glancing at his hands, Draco finally noticed the blood smeared across his palms and under his fingernails. He sighed and grabbed his wand before heading towards the bathroom in the common room. There was a group of fifth years talking about what they would be doing over the break when Draco entered but he ignored them to the best of his abilities and started to scrub the blood from his hands. The soap stung against the cuts as they were rubbed open and started to bleed anew. It was annoying but Draco welcomed the pain while it lasted. He would be feeling much worse in the coming weeks, he could tell.