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Spider-Man's Not A Party Trick (Iron Dad)

"I'm just gonna be myself," Peter declares. That's how he'll win Liz's affection. He doesn't need a fancy costume or a superhero persona. He'll just be himself, and she'll come to like him for who he really is, spider-ness aside.

Ned gapes at him. "Peter, no one wants that!"

Peter scoffs. "Dude!" God, can he have any support here? He's doing something good – something responsible. Spider-Man's not a party trick. He's a responsibility. And Peter's not going to pull out the webs just to make himself look good at–

"Penis Parker!" Flash yells from his DJ stand, microphone and all so the whole party can hear him. "What's up?"

Literally the entire room turns to stare at him. If there was a spotlight in Liz's living room, it would definitely be centered on him. Never before has Peter wanted so desperately for the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

"Where's your pal Spider-Man?" Flash asks sarcastically. "Let me guess: in Canada with your imaginary girlfriend?"

The room erupts into laughter.

Peter just stands there, frozen.

Fighting Captain America and his friends was so much easier than high school.

"That's not Spider-Man," Flash quips. "That's just Ned in a red shirt!"

Peter glances at his friend. Maybe he was right. Maybe he should bring out Spider-Man. Just this once, of course. Just to shut Flash up. And then maybe he'll mention to Liz real quick about how "his buddy Peter" is a great dude, but only because he'll already be there. He wouldn't go out of his way to use Spidey to further his social life, obviously. He's more mature than that.

But just this once...

The doorbell rings, but Peter doesn't pay it much mind. He's already plotting his escape. He'll find the bathroom – where does he find the bathroom? – and sneak out through the window and onto the roof. Nobody's going to find his clothes if he leaves them on the roof. And he'll swing by real quick, he'll do his handshake with Ned, he'll ask him where Peter is, he'll look for Liz and–

There's a collective gasp from the rest of the party guests. Peter whips around to see what everybody's staring at... And yes, it's pretty gasp-worthy.

Tony Stark is standing in the doorway, a smoothie in his hand and a subtle smirk on his face. His eyes scan the room, and Peter begins mentally debating whether he could escape before Tony sees him.

Unfortunately, Tony finds him before he can do that.

"Hey, Pete." Tony raises his smoothie toward him in greeting, and the other kids scramble out of the way as though he was Moses himself. Even Ned takes a few steps to the side. Peter wishes he could do the same. He doesn't know what he did to get Tony Stark to follow him to this party, but he's not sure he wants to find out.

Despite his wariness, Peter manages to squeak out an awkward, "Hi, Mr. Stark. What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I love partying with a bunch of sweaty, hormonal teenagers," Tony says sarcastically. "No, I'm looking for you."

Peter swallows hard.

Of course he is.

"I heard from Spider-Man," Tony tells him. "He got caught up with something. He's not sure he's gonna make it tonight."

There's an audible groan from the other kids. If he'd been any less terrified of what Tony's doing here, he'd take a look at Flash's face right now. He'd like to know how he's handling the revelation that Spider-Man was actually going to show up – or, possibly more excitingly, that Iron Man did show up.