are you mine? - a south park style fanfic

Chapter 39 - I Missed You

Stan's Pov:

I stared at him. His hazel eyes were grey with the bad lighting. I couldn't even tell if this moment was real. He stared at me, not saying anything, I didn't say anything either, I couldn't find the words. We stared at each other for a while, not saying anything, just examining the other.

"...Stan.."

When I heard his voice finally, I couldn't stop myself. I nearly stumbled onto him, hugging him harder than I felt I ever did. He hugged me back tightly. The wind blowing on our bodies gave us both goosebumps. I didn't know what to say to him... How to explain why I was here.. I just hugged him until my arms burned.

"How did you find me?" I said quietly while still hugging him. "To be honest.. I don't know." he said before I pulled him back and looked at him in his eyes, his curly bangs resting over them now. "I just kind of.. knew you were here.. I guess." he said looking back at me. We stood in silence again just staring at each other while the wind blew on us again and again.

".....Wanna come in?" I said looking at the ground, then back up at him. He nodded quietly, and I let him in before closing the door behind him.

Kyle's Pov:

As I walked in, I looked around at the small room and how old and beat up it was. Poor Stan. I know he's probably going through some heavy mental shit to even think of staying here. But for some reason, just being able to be with him took away all the feelings I might've felt towards it in that moment. I sat on the edge of the bed and took off my shoes, while he sat in the upper left section. Then, I climbed up next to him, but kept a foot between us, and sat on top of the blankets. It was silent for a while, besides for the TV channel playing in the background. "So, why did you come here?" I said, knowing I already knew the answer. "Craig said the police were investigating Kenny, and that we were probably next.. so.. yeah." I knew it. "Yeah.. same." I said half lying. We stayed silent for a bit more, the silence was making me so anxious every single time. "I'm sorry I left you that night.. like.. I'm really fucking sorry dude." he said making sure not to make eye contact with me. I couldn't even be mad at him anymore. "It's okay bro.. I overreacted." I said feeling guilty. "No.. you really didn't." he said quietly. We stayed quiet again. "You know I went to the hospital?" I said laughing a bit embarrassed, but Stan jolted his head towards me. "What? What the fuck are you okay?" he said extremely concerned. "You didn't know? Wendy had been texting you. But yeah, just a panic attack. Pussy shit." I said rolling my eyes remembering what happened. "Oh.. I'm sorry Ky. I kinda texted Wendy the night I left and abandoned my phone. I didn't know." he said looking over at me, I looked back at him with a slight smile to show him it was okay. "Its okay.. they were trying to put me on meds haha." I said laughing remembering all the times Stan was supposed to be put on meds. "Jesus.. I'm so sorry Ky.. I wish I was there." he said looking away from me. I started feeling bad looking at him feeling so guilty over something he shouldn't have. I just had the urge to comfort him. Make sure he knew it was all okay. I got under the blankets beside him, and rested my head on his shoulder. He put his head on top of mine. "I missed you so much dude. You don't even know." he said quietly. I felt myself smile a bit. "I missed you too dude." I said. We watched TV together for a bit until the show eventually ended and switched to some random loser show. After it did Stan picked his head up and looked at me, I did the same. "Ky, what are we going to do?" he said, sounding nervous again. "What do you mean?" "Like, how are we going to get out of this.. Everything's fucking ruined." he said as I noticed him digging his nails into his skin. "I don't know Stan.. but we'll figure it out. We always do." I said feeling so corny, but knowing it was true. I grabbed his hand and smiled at him. "When are you going back?" he asked, which confused me. "...What do you mean? I'm staying with you."

Stan's Pov:

I froze when Kyle said that. Fuck fuck fuckkk. I can't do what I need to do the most with him here. I don't want to traumatize him for the rest of his life. I couldn't make it obvious why I was upset, so instead, I had to make a plan to leave when he wasn't there. I knew I was a shitty person for doing that, but I rather do that then have him see my fucking brains spilled all over the floor. "Oh. Are you sure you wont get in trouble?" I said trying to help Kyle realize what he was getting into, but of course, he was stubborn. "I don't care. If I go back, I'll just ruin my life anyways. There's no point, I rather be with you." he said smiling, I couldn't help but feel warm inside. Kyle really loved me so much, even though he probably didn't anymore after what happened. Still, I couldn't stop myself from being so happy that he was with me, it almost made me want to keep living, but I knew I couldn't, no matter what. I hope Kyle will forgive me one day, but for now, I just wanna spend the rest of my life with him.

"We need a plan though Stan. We can't just hide here forever." he said, getting a more serious tone, which made me a bit nervous. "I know.. I just don't know what to do." I said. "Well, what do we have to get us by? Did you bring anything?" he asked. I got really nervous, knowing that he would probably be nervous knowing what I really had. Before he came in, I was almost sure the cops were here, so I hid all my clothes on top of the duffel bag of drugs and hid it with the money inside of the closet. I wasn't sure if I should tell Kyle about the drugs yet, so I just nodded and went to the closet, and retrieved the bag of money. When I got back to the bed I opened the backpack and showed Kyle, which made him loose his breath. "W-what the fuck? How did you get all this-" "Craig gave it to me. He said Kenny needed to get rid of it before the police searched the house so.. he gave it to me to spend." Kyle looked at me with a slight grin. "This is how we'll make it out." Kyle said happily. "What do you mean?" I said confused. This was the plan Kyle hatched out:

•Dye both our hair fully black
•Change our names when people ask
•Figure out how to disguise ourselves just enough to be unnoticeable in public
•Move to a different state just long enough until we're maybe presumed dead or something
•Finally get jobs and use the extra money towards an apartment
•Probably go to community college together, just to move towards jobs that'll actually pay
•Live with each other until eventually start our new lives

The only problem with this is that it would interrupt my plans fully. I wasn't planning to live long enough for the second half of the list, but Kyle was so set on making this a reality, so I agreed. We began thinking of places to go, until we finally remembered the place we have always wanted to go together. "Oregon.", we both said at the same time. When me and Kyle were younger we always said we'd run away to Oregon together and be hunters or some shit, and just live there until we died. It was perfect. We planned out the trip, and calculated everything we'd have to do to make it go smoothly. After we were done, we laid back and finally relaxed, it was already 1 am, and I realized that being with Kyle had made me sober up a lot, even though usually I'd feel the Oxy all night. I was about to excuse myself to the bathroom to snort another before Kyle laid his head on the side of my chest. At that moment, I had no urge to do anything but lay there with him. Kyle really brought out the best in me, it just sucked that I couldn't do the same. I had basically ruined his life, and he was still here for me. There is no one in my life who will ever matter to me as much as he does.

"I'm so sorry about everything Kyle. I'm sorry I fucked up everything for you, and us, and.. yeah." I said as I felt his head move upwards to look at me. "It's okay Stan. All that matters to me is that you're back. As long as we're together, I don't care what happens." I felt myself getting a bit emotional but trying to hide it. I put my arm around him and he put his around me. He always knew how to make me feel safe, and I never really truly felt that way unless I was with him. That's when I knew I loved him. It never even mattered to me what gender he was, I had practically been okay with crushing on him all my life, until we got older and I realized how people treated people like me. I pretended like there was nothing there, until I couldn't. High me never made good decisions, but kissing Kyle was the best decision I had ever made. Just then, I remembered how much I missed his soft lips, and the way we'd make out for hours in my bed when everything was still normal, just addicted to the feeling, not caring about anything but each other, I missed it so much. I just wish I could go back to how it was, but everything was different now. Still, the selfishness in me wanted it now, so I tried to do everything to recreate what I could. I grabbed his soft cheek and looked over at him, he got up a bit to see what I wanted. He's so fucking pretty without trying. I couldn't help smiling at him. "I missed you so fucking much Ky." I said smiling at him, looking down at his lips that were slowly turning into a smile. "I missed you too." he said as we stared at each other for a few seconds, before he eventually leaned in and kissed me. When he pulled back it was like something triggered in his brain, like he had just realized what he'd been missing, because he immediately pulled himself back in and kissed me longer. I kissed him until my lips were numb, my hands ran through his soft curls as he rested his hand on my cheek. We eventually fell asleep wrapped in each others arms, I knew this feeling wouldn't last forever, but it was nice as hell pretending like it would.