[WRITTEN]Aftermath- Suegiku

Eight- March 15th

[ 9 Months Since Jōno's Death- March 15, Tetchō's birthday ]

Tetchō always got his surgeries around the end of each month or so. He had yet to get it.

It's his birthday today.
Not like he remembered.

Teruko and Tachihara had obviously been planning things with the other Hunting Dogs. Tetchō had asked questions, but only got snickers and grins in reply.

Tetchō's trying to get better.

But everything's just getting worse.

He's so touch-averse that he's become starved for it. Not like he can do anything about it. Usually, Jōno would be the one to give it to him. Jōno would give him those words of comfort— and arms to stay warm in.

Tetchō's lost that.

He can't feel anything.

Just

Grief.

It's nearly been a year.

Spring starts soon.
It's still Winter, though. Still a little chilly.

Tetchō's exhausted.
It's almost 12 in the afternoon. He's sprawled on the floor, disheveled, grasping a cracked pencil in his hand.

There's papers everywhere. He's in his office in HQ.
There's drawings pinned to the wall, to the floor, to the ceiling, and crumpled papers on the ground.

There's a numerous amount of cracked and broken pencils on his desk by the window.

His hair is a mess. Worse than usual.

He didn't sleep all night.
Being a Hunting Dog— having those enhancements—
He could go days without sleeping.

It didn't mean he felt any less mentally drained, though.

Tetchō's lost all important memory of Jōno. The parts be put over everything. Simple things, actually.

His touch
His voice
His words—
His laugh.

Jōno's face
His features
His figure.

Tetchō doesn't know if the small gifts and remnants of Jōno are enough anymore.

He's even gone as far as to wear Jōno's clothes— like his favorite sweater to try and remember him.

It's not working.

He's tried doing what Jōno does.

Trying his interrogation method— which Tetchō despised with every inch of his being.
Trying to eat the way Jōno did.
Brush his hair out properly.
Use Jōno's routine.

It's not working.

His face is still missing.

It's like it's run away from Tetchō—
To make him feel guilt for not being able to protect his lover.
To make him feel worthless for not remembering.

Tetchō was never as emotionally strong as he was physically.

Breaking down like this—
He hates feeling weak.
He hates feeling vulnerable like this without anyone to help him.

He misses Jōno.

God

He

Misses him.

Tetchō can't take it anymore.

He can't even taste anything when he eats.
He can't feel comfortable when he actually gets sleep.