[WRITTEN]Aftermath- Suegiku

Four- Partner

[6 Months Since Jōno's Death]

No matter how long it seems to have been, Tetchō keeps having painful dreams. Either he wakes up crying, or has his eyes swollen from crying in the night.

It's either they're about moments he has had with Jōno, or about moments he wishes he could have had— picnics, their wedding that never happened, a future together..

But sometimes, Tetchō's dreams are about guilt and blame.

Often, in those dreams, he's simply in a void, walking, walking— never being able to find anything.

Sometimes it's about that promise he couldn't keep with the café owner and slicing open his stomach with a distorted expression on Jōno's silhouette piercing down at him.

Except for that distorted sound of someone telling him he's good for nothing. Can't do his job right, can't keep promises, doesn't deserve his title, can't distinguish the line of Justice, that he isn't strong enough, that he isn't good enough—

Yeah.

He suspects it's himself.

But another figure seems very familiar, somehow. It resembles a certain late lover.
That hurts Tetchō badly.

But he can't tell, can he?
It's been months since he started disassociating Jōno's face, voice— touch..

Those hallucinations keep popping up daily, though, now more often than ever.

That's all Tetchō's thinking about, leaning against a window, staring outside on the office floor.

'What would Jōno say if he were here?' He thinks—
All day, all night, he just keeps trying to remember Jōno.

That's what he feared the most. Forgetting Jōno.

Those hallucinations of Jōno Tetchō sees have his basic figure— but his face is constantly smudged, and his voice comes out in weird patterns when 'Jōno' does make sounds other than laughing, like speaking.

Speaking is rare for them, though.

Tetchō sighs, moving back from the window. Teruko had pointed out his dark circles and eye aga are worse than ever. After all, he's been drowning himself in work and exercise recently to cope with Jōno's loss, even though it's been a month.

But considering how close he was to Jōno, it'll be extremely difficult.

"Tetchō? Tetchō, there you are. Someone's trying to apply for partnership with you again.." Teruko sighs, knowing full well what Tetchō's going to say.

"...I don't need a new partner.." he mutters, loud enough for Teruko to hear. It's the same thing every time.

There's been new Hunting Dogs recruits recently— some are oblivious to Tetchō's mental health and keep trying to take up Jōno's position as Tetchō's partner. Whenever this happens, Tetchō goes to see the person, knowing full well he'll reject partnership with them.

It's either they actually admire or like Tetchō, or they're just trying to fucking hit on him as if he's not mourning.
It doesn't make Tetchō's blood boil—
It just makes him confused— frustrated, and a little numb.

"I can't keep sending you out on missions alone, even if you might be my Vice-Commander soon. Someone needs to keep an eye on you, that isn't me or Michizō during missions," she sighs, looking up sternly at Tetchō.
"Come on. This guy actually seems likeable— actually, it's a woman. Listen, Tetchō, she won't try anything. She has a girlfriend, okay?"

"...I don't want to talk to anyone right now."

He's been like this lately. Mourning and loss took a big toll on Tetchō's thought process and sociability.