I was born weird. I mean, I know that all babies are weird, but I was on a whole other level. I came out of the womb feet first with a full head of hair, and I could already speak in complete sentences.
My parents were understandably confused. They didn't know what to make of me. They took me to see a doctor, but the doctor just said that I was a perfectly healthy baby.
But I wasn't perfectly healthy. I was weird. I had a weird sense of humor, I had a weird way of looking at the world, and I did weird things.
For example, when I was a toddler, I used to eat my boogers. I know, it's disgusting. But I couldn't help myself. They were just so delicious.
I also used to talk to imaginary friends. I had a whole cast of characters, including a talking dog, a flying cat, and a unicorn.
My parents were always trying to get me to stop doing these weird things. They would tell me that I was being gross, or that I was making them look bad. But I couldn't help it. I was just being myself.
