The Light-Spider

Congratulations, If You Care

What the fuck?

I stare at the giant machine held up by propellers in the air. It displays the finalized scores for the H.I.G.H.s. In big, bright white letters, it had a clear list of names that seemed to stab my eyes with both its piercing brightness and its concerning message.

A headache quickly grew, expanding and contorting my thoughts. It felt like a lump--a tumor was festering in my head. It fostered itself in my negative thoughts. Originally standing in front of my apartment window, I fall to the floor like a rock and crawl backward until my head hits the wall.

"No, no, no. Fuck no..." People who were on the top 5 H.I.G.H.s of their year, also known as HIGHstars, would be hailed as heroes(a more accurate description would be overnight celebrities) in their districts. 

Unless you lived in some place like Eura, where people were accustomed to fame and even had training classes for famous people, you were basically on your own. You had to fend off the dogs of the media, the haters, and the fans.

I could see the rest of my life flashing before my eyes. I would become like every single HIGHstar. Live off the fruits of my high school career, then become involved with gambling, crime, and/or other types of scandals. Then, I would end up on the streets and become another face in the street.

I've seen HIGHstars have their lives ruined. I would have my life ruined. It would be so hard to live a peaceful life when you are suddenly hurled into stardom. I was never one to be in the spotlight, so why now? I should have purposefully flunked the test. It would have been way better for this whole ordeal to never happen than it were to take this sort of risk to finish my H.I.G.H.s early.

Chaos began to swirl in my thoughts. They slowly became more and more negative. The worst case scenario became the most likely scenario. I begin to hyperventilate and smile widely.

Smiling is a nervous response for me, so it was never a good thing when I smile. A small chuckle begins to escape through my mouth, but I clamp my hands over my mouth as soon as I hear footsteps approaching my room.

Like a switch, my facial expression dropped. I returned to a neutral expression, my eyelids lazy and low and my mouth completely straight.

I stood up and dusted off my butt and sat down on my chair, I picked up a pen and started clicking it rapidly, staring off into the rising sun.

My mom came into my room with a concerned look on her face. "What's causing all that ruckus, Ayinde?"

She looked out the window, and she held the same concerned expression until she read the second line.

1. Regulua Garcius - Eura
2. Ayinde Adebayo - York
3. Viktor Hennigar - Razia
4. Troupius Rekkna - Eura
5. Kiya Ken - Saia

Each name had a picture of said student on it. I said nothing, imagining my world crumbling before me. The clicking of the pen sped up with the beat of my heart.

"Oh my gracious Lightkeeper! Con-"

-----

"-gratulations!" MJ told me. She hugged me with a ferocity I've never seen before and shook me around, rattling my brain. I had to physically make her stop. She had tears in her eyes.

We sat on a bench inside the Pit. She was the first one to show up when Miles called an emergency meeting. 

People eyed me with various looks on their faces. Many envious, some proud, others piteous. 

"... Are you okay?" I asked her, raising my eyebrow. Her face scrunched up into an unmistakably sad expression. It looked like she was trying to hold in her tears. Instead, her tears disobeyed her attempt at appearing strong and began to leak.