You're My Biggest Mistake

Chapter 18

Kim Taeyeon's Point of View

I'm losing interest in going through my daily life after the chaotic mess Dispatch has brought to my life, especially to my relationship.

I only fear when I go outdoors; I fear all the eyes I meet and all the things they say. It feels like I'm being followed and harassed on the streets when everyone's actually minding their own business.

We have an upcoming concert tour in Japan, so we're about to board the plane. However, there's a tiny voice inside my head that keeps on telling me to have a bit of conscience and shame for dating someone like Baekhyun.

I started breaking out in cold sweat and feeling hot around my back and neck area. Nervously fiddling with my fingers, I looked around to see if I could talk to anyone and apologize for the situation I caused.

I walked up to a girl with who I made eye contact earlier and figured she knew me as an idol. I strike up a conversation by saying, "Excuse me. I'm sorry to be saying this the first time we meet each other, but can you do me a favor?"

She was flustered by what I said but answered with courtesy, "Yes, you can."

I bowed down to meet her eye level better and said, "I greatly regret having caused a mess that cannot easily be swept under the rug. I'm responsible for the commotion brought by my relationship, and I want to sincerely apologize for it." My eyes began tearing up, "I understand if you don't want to be involved because I am aware of the strain it would have on you, but I would greatly appreciate it if you could relay the word to the public as I am not allowed to take any action on this matter by my agency."

I have told a couple of people this whenever I had the chance, but never did they try to help and relay my words. I'm not expecting her to do as I say after getting scoffed and cursed at by others when I asked a simple... or is it a ridiculous favor?

Byun Baekhyun's Point of View

Girls' Generation Taeyeon's tears, the reason why she cried a lot holding onto a fan at the airport...

I let out a deep sigh and felt lost after seeing the first article that popped up on my phone screen. As if going on Instagram to publicly apologize wasn't enough, she even personally apologized to a fan at the airport. It frustrates me a lot, seeing that this has become our life—always feeling apologetic, masking our true feelings, suppressing our pride in each other, and not being able to run away and hide.

It's also been a while since I last saw her. She had asked for my understanding that we stop seeing each other in the meantime because she was mentally suffering as well as to avoid further disappointing fans. I couldn't say no to her request, but it felt like my whole world stopped after hearing that.

I'd hoped she would come to me at times of her suffering, but instead, she pushed me away and made me feel as if I was the source of her endless crying every night.

"Are you okay?" asked Chanyeol.

I looked at him with my puffed eyes, "Do I look like I am?"

"Then... do you want to go on a ride?" he excitedly stomps his feet before imitating the sound of his scooter.

Not taking my eyes off my phone, I uttered, "Do you think I'm in the mood to ride in your scooter, Chanyeol?"

He sat beside me and sighed, "Where has my best friend gone? I haven't seen him in a while now..." He looked in my direction, "You've been too focused on her, Baekhyun." He placed his big palm right in front of my face before I could glare at him, "And! Before you hate on me for saying that, I mean it. It feels like I lost my best friend after she came. It doesn't mean I hate her or I don't think you guys look good together, but it's not fair that you're here struggling with the haters while keeping your relationship... I don't know, intact?"

"Well, it's not her fault, Chanyeol, and it's a no-brainer that I should keep our relationship 'intact.' What do you want me to do?" I pointed out.

He raised his voice and talked like I'm being oblivious, "Get hurt less? Do you not see yourself hurting every time you think about her? Do you not see yourself crying to sleep, hoping she's feeling better when you, yourself, are in pain? Do you not see yourself on your phone, waiting for her texts and calls, all the time? Because I see it, we see it. You've lost your sense of self, and you don't know how to have fun as you used to anymore. Can you just take it easy and focus on yourself instead?"

I muttered, "You're not helping. You should go."

He was clearly hurt by what I said, but then, he stood up and scoffed, "I'm not helping? As far as I know, she's not helping." When I looked up at him, he had a smirk, "Stop being blind, and you'll see. It takes two to build the relationship, but one to break it."

He took the empty plastic bottle that's been sitting on the coffee table and let his anger out by throwing it to the floor with such force it made a loud sound.

I rolled my eyes before realizing that the guys were peeping out of their rooms and were listening to us argue.

Did they send Chanyeol to talk to me?

Chanyeol announced while partly mocking me, "Go back to your rooms, guys. It's no use talking to someone who's been blind by love."

The guys looked sad and helpless before going to their respective rooms. When I looked at Minseok and Junmyeon, they were shaking their heads in disappointment.

I guess I have not only disappointed Taeyeon and both of our fans, but I also let my friends down.