Fuck Girl

Sugar Daddy?

We ended up back at his place and I'm a little bit glad we did. I'm still annoyed at Cristál for telling my business like that. Antonio didn't do anything wrong, and it was unfair of me to be such a bitch earlier. I was hurting and feeling insecure, which isn't an excuse, but it's the reason. I don't know where I stand with him right now. I think we're okay, but I'm still not sure what he wants from me. He hasn't explicitly said he wants to date me, but from his actions and how jealous he can get, I think that's what he wants. I'm not ready for something like that. He's broken down a bit of my wall and I like being around him, but that doesn't mean I'm ready for him to cuff me.

We're sitting in his massive living room where he has duplicates of all the gaming devices he had in his bedroom. Plus, some of the more classic ones like the N64, Atari, and the first gens of PlayStation and Xbox. A massive flat screen is mounted above a tall black fireplace. An almost fur looking white carpet lays in the center of the room with a glass coffee table in the middle. A black pit group surrounds the coffee table. I sit on the section of the couch directly across from him. We stopped at Starbucks on the way and I'm nursing a caramel frappe while he shoots on his iced coffee.

"What are your intentions with me?* I ask him straight up. I don't want one of us to get our feelings hurt when our expectations are different.

He chokes on his coffee. "What do you mean?" He splitters, obviously taken off guard by my question.

"Are you trying to date me? Fuck buddies? Are you wanting to start a throuple with your secret wife?" He laughs. "I won't be upset whatever it is. Unless this has been a long con to kill me or sell me into sex trafficking."

"I was planning to sell you last night, but I couldn't get ahold of you." He jokes but I don't laugh. He clears his throat and his smile goes away. "Uh, yeah. My intention would be to date you eventually. A monogamous committed relationship."

"Gross." This time he doesn't laugh at my joke. "Ok, and I want you to be aware that I don't date."

"Because of your ex?" He asks.

I shoot him a glare and he raises his arms in a don't shoot manner. "I guess the long story short is yes. He hurt me in an infinite amount of ways and I don't want to set myself up for disaster again. I like my life now, even though I'm struggling, a lot better than my life two years ago." I tell him honestly.

"I understand that, but it's unfair for you to deny yourself potential happiness because of one guy."

" You don't know how much one guy can fuck you up."

"Are you willing to tell me anything about that?"

I think for a long moment. Despite the few days we've known each other I do feel like I can trust him. And he is kind of close to the situation since Kaiser is the reason I haven't been able to get a job even at Antonio's company.

"We dated for six years. I was 16 and he was 20. He controlled everything I did from the time I was 18. He was physically, verbally, emotionally, and financially abusive. I drugged him to get away and that's how I ended up here living with Cristál." I try to keep to the facts and my emotions under control. I'm not ready to go into any specifics.

I look up from my nail bitten hands to see such a sad look on Antonio's face. "I'm so sorry Hazel. Really. Nobody should have to deal with that, ever."

I shrug and try to keep my eyes from pricking with tears. It makes me emotional to even think of my time with Kaiser. "Yeah it took me a long time to realize that."

"Come here." He almost whispers. I don't even think, I walk around the coffee table and sit in his lap. I curl into him as his arms wrap around me. My head rests against his chest and his fingers comb through my hair. Being held like this makes it impossible to hold back the tears. They fall slowly and then they're pouring, splashing off my cheeks and darkening his shirt. I haven't allowed myself to cry since I left him. I thought if I cried it would mean I want him back or that I was being weak. Antonio's strong arms make me feel so safe. I know Kaiser couldn't get to me here. "It's ok." He tells me as my body wracks with sobs. Now that I've started I can't stop and it's so overwhelming.