What's Best For Her

Best Friends Forever

"It's bloody Valentine's Day," Harry muttered to himself once he landed into Hogsmeade. The entire village seemed to be decorated in pink effects and it stood out brightly against the pearly white backdrop of snow.

He didn't mind that it was Valentine's Day but he suddenly felt very conscious of the fact that he asked Hermione to meet him without anything to give her. They weren't a couple but he was taking up some of her precious time and it would look downright bad if he showed up empty handed. Then again, she wouldn't have agreed to come anyway if she had other plans.

They weren't a couple, regretfully so, and he didn't necessarily owe her a gift or anything. She made her feelings clear to him last time they met so Harry wondered why he felt suddenly guilty about being empty handed in front of her on Valentine's Day.

He wouldn't have time to confront his guilt as he caught Hermione, dressed in accentuating pants and a faded pink tailored coat with a blue scarf around her neck, standing in front of The Three Broomsticks peering about for him. She looked angelic and he got the sinking feeling that he wouldn't be able to contain himself when he spoke to her. With her beauty so prominently on display, Harry suddenly felt unworthy to be around her when he looked like a typical teenager.

She noticed him when he began crossing to her, his eyes firmly locked on her, but her smile was more hesitant than the last time he saw her. He didn't care one bit, though, he was too happy to see her again and hopefully mend their friendship.

"Hi," they greeted each other at the same time.

She giggled at that and Harry felt his worry about them meeting start to fade. The sound of it felt like a heavenly choir and he couldn't help but smile goofily at her, suddenly feeling overwhelmingly happy.

"Do you want..." they both tried to ask at the same time again before breaking out in laughter.

Harry went to offer for them to go inside but Hermione was about to do the same so he snapped his mouth. He got another giggle from her and he felt more than a bit of pride and joy at it. He allowed her to lead him inside and made the first move to clasp their hands as they stepped into the surprisingly near empty tavern.

"All of the students are at Madam Puddifoots' or that new restaurant," Hermione told him in response to his confused look.

He nodded gratefully to her and didn't miss the ease in which she read his mind. She knew him too well, better than he knew himself. The wizard wondered how he could ever even think to love another woman when she existed. None of them would ever measure up to her and if they did, he still wouldn't want them. He only wanted her.

Hermione was still tense as they sat down but she hid it well, he knew. He decided to open their conversation with a joke. "Wish I had known it was Valentine's Day before I got here, could've prepared myself a lot more for all the snogging I saw in the streets." It was lame, he knew it, but he was trying to add levity to the situation.

The resulting slight laugh from Hermione came out halfheartedly but he chalked it up to her still being tense around him. He shot her a lopsided grin and continued to speak. "Look, Hermione, I'm sorry for how everything happened when you told me you were leaving," he spoke genuinely to her.

"Yes...well, I'm sorry for how I told you," Hermione smiled weakly and Harry saw an almost imperceptible flash of hurt in her brilliantly brown eyes, "I really need to work on my delivery." She tried to laugh again but it was weak.

Hesitantly, Harry reached across to take her hands yet again and she let him. "Let's just agree to not talk about what happened that day. Clearly, we both were out of sorts," he expressed to her.

"I can do that."

He brightly grinned at her and reluctantly let go of her. "So, New York?" He lightly questioned, trying not to sound accusatory or show his reluctance at her going.

"Yes, it's a wonderful program, Harry," Hermione launched into a discussion with an excited smile on her face and Harry's heart lurched. She looked...happy, excited for her opportunity. "I think this is my calling, you know? My parents wanted me to get into the medical field and what better way to bridge both their wishes and this world than to study to be a healer?" She sounded hopeful at that and Harry's heart splintered at it.

He tried to hide the downcast feeling that was threatening to overwhelm him but it came out clearly on his face. He most definitely wasn't yet ready to let her go, even if Aunt Molly said it was the right thing to do. Hermione was home to him, one couldn't just let go of their home.

"Harry, it's only going to be for four years, you know?" Hermione saw his sadness and tried to offer comfort through her words and a gentle smile. "It's not like I'll be gone forever," she added.

The green eyed wizard tried his best to feel some sort of relief at her words but the misery came quickly and he was forced to contend with the thought of not seeing Hermione for four years. He wanted to be selfish and tell her that he loved her and that he wanted her to stay with him forever but his throat tightened up. Harry couldn't drop that bombshell on her and force her to contend with an opportunity she was so clearly excited for and the knowledge that he loved her. It wouldn't be fair to her.

"Did you mean what you said? When you said this is what is best for you?" Harry asked, remembering Molly's words to him about letting Hermione go. He silently begged and pleaded to anyone that would listen for her to say no.

"Yes."

And just like that, Harry felt his heart shrivel up completely. He was numb, devoid of any hope or feeling, as he looked at Hermione. She truly believed that leaving him, that studying advanced healing was what was best for her. Who was he to argue? She was Hermione Granger, the most brilliant witch of her time. If anyone knew the right situation for themselves, it was her.

"Are you sure?" He couldn't stop himself from asking, desperately praying to her that she wouldn't say yes again.

"I'm sure, Harry."

Well, he got his wish. She didn't say yes again but it was no less of an affirmation. The boy knew he looked like nothing short of a kicked puppy but it was hard to contain the fear and depression that the mere thought of being without Hermione incited within him. He was so wrapped up in his feelings that he didn't even notice she had taken his hands and began stroking the back of them gently.

"Harry, you know I can still write to you from the States, right?"

He did know that but it just wasn't the same. She was going to be across a whole bloody ocean from him! He shook his head at her in response.

"Well, if it's causing you so much pain then maybe I should stay," said Hermione when he still didn't show any signs of breaking from his misery.

Realizing that he was hurting her and forcing her to forgo an opportunity for herself just to stay with him, Harry immediately perked up and shook his head negatively. He wasn't going to force her to stay, not when she clearly thought she'd be better off studying in New York City.

"No, no...I mean I'm going to miss you a lot," Harry felt her hands on his and savored the warmth of them, "but I want you to be happy. I want what's best for you."

The boy was sure he died a bit inside as he uttered the words and looked down at their clasped hands, wishing that they could stay like that forever. He completely missed the pained look she gave him, however.

"Thank you, Harry," she tilted his chin up so they could look at each other, "we're still best friends right?"

Her hand came up to cup his cheek and he leaned into it. When his eyes met her in a sublime dance of emerald and chocolate, he found that he could no more deny her than he could deny himself air. He wanted nothing more than to run away from her and wallow in his misery but he needed to be happy for her, he needed to take whatever he could get from her.

"Always."