The Stockholm Escape - Chapter One

My legs were numb as I had been standing for hours in front of my keyhole, watching the whole drama unfold outside in the corridors and that destined moment I decided to evacuate my apartment at the first of dawn .

I have always been a dreamer and also a realist — very conflicting personalities to be embodied inside one human being. Being in the IT industry I craved to be posted outside my country on "important" work assignments. However, in the 10 years of my work life I was never made to feel that important and somehow whatever project I would work on, the onus of that would move to my site (something to be proud of, but my little heart always wanted to embark on a business travel like every other single friend. And this has not changed till date). Fate however had a different tangent for me and I landed a job in the picturesque city of Stockholm.

When the interview process started, I was extremely skeptical to proceed further, the position seemed to be that of a junior level and I had worked very hard in my career to be in a place that I had always dreamt off. Doors that were shut, were finally opening up for me and it all seemed so surreal. But these doors had a hefty price — I was working almost fourteen hours every other day and my team lead did not really understanding what leading actually meant. And for the first time in ten years I had to talk to my Manager to let him know that the guy was ruining the morale of the team and all this unfolded in the peak rampage of the pandemic. The ill-fitted job did not seem that bad after all, it was the escape life was offering to me . Husband was very excited at the prospect and tried to reason that we have been wanting something like this and it would change our lives forever :) After some thought, I decided to take the bait that life was offering and from the time I accepted the offer, life has never been the same!

The visa process was gruelling, only I got the visa and my husband's visa was pending due to lots of reasons (mostly our fault ) but I will not get to the details of that now. My visa was granted within weeks of application and I had to travel in a month and half's time. I will be honest, I was extremely ill-prepared for this major life change — I have always been a planner but my husband's visa issues had clouded my sane being. I couldn't get over the fact that I had made a mistake and now he would be stranded for months( Visa process in Sweden can take months and husband got the visa after 9 months )

I landed in the peak of Autumn and the city was breathtaking. I was scared but also felt so liberated. I was finally going to live my dream of seeing the Aurora. My desire to witness the Aurora was so intense that maybe I manifested this job ( Not kidding , I was being approached for jobs in many foreign locations but I somehow never went ahead with those) And to my strangest discovery, I became part of a team named as Aurora in my new job !!

The part of life after the first week are some of the most difficult days of my life. The job was Bad! Words will not do justice to what I felt once I discovered for what I was hired. It was a complete waste of all that I had worked for my whole life and it seemed life itself was slipping a little by little! Close ones and husband advised to stick a little longer and see if things would get better. But deep down I knew, I was paying the price for being greedy — for taking up something that I knew was not suited for me. But from where I come, we are taught not to quit and never to give up no matter what( sometimes at the cost of your sanity even!). And in midst of all this, I had to find an accommodation. The company sponsored stay was for only a month and time was running by faster than ever. I was out and about every day running from one viewing to the other and almost every single owner was not too happy to rent to a foreigner who had just arrived. And the homes that I was getting approval for, were places which were in the middle of nowhere! From a colleague, I got a reference of a real estate agent. And he started showing me homes which were way beyond my affordability (everything was so expensive that I had begun to think that I couldn't afford to even eat proper meals and naturally the higher rents took away the even little breathe that I had left inside me). The agent began to show me homes in another area and within my budget! That's when I got to know, it was in a shady area of the town and couple of years ago there were riots there. I passed out on that and kept my hunt on. But fate had it otherwise, nothing was working out and I was inching to the end of my stay and that's when I took a leap of faith and signed the contract in "the shady area". Once it was done, I felt relieved for the first time since I had landed to my new place. The past weeks had been such a struggle with tears, extreme anxiety and worst of all knowing that I had to figure out everything on my own. It was one of the most humbling and painful experiences of my life.

I shifted the following weekend , dragging my luggage bags across the metro stations and when I finally reached my new home, I felt a strange calmness. The previous night, I had been up till 4 a.m reading threads on Quora which captured in great description the riots which had taken place and how the area was still very unsafe and staying there was the last option one should take. I swallowed the pill and made up my mind that I would only stay there till the winter gets a little bearable and the mercury was dropping fast. I did not know what to expect from my first winter in the one of the coldest places in planet Earth!

The first one month was uneventful, I was beginning to think that people have a need to over amplify situations and just propagate rumors. It was not a fun place to live definitely but it was my home for now :) By this time I had made a few acquaintances in my office and everyone had been really warm to me. I was settling down and making my way into this new city. I had started binge watching a lot, the sun would go down by 15.00 and after office I would look forward to my evenings with my Seasons. This was an escape for me - to not think about my work (which I was beginning to dislike more and more each day) , from worrying about my husband's visa , from worrying about having taken the worst decision of my life .

I had started applying for other countries just to be able to run away from this job and more importantly to get the visa issues sorted. Things would proceed and would fall through either due to the location or the job details. Finally, I decided to wait it out here in Stockholm and my rational brain kicked in saying that I was overreacting and I should give it at-least a few months.I found a new calmness within after I decided to be just present at the heart of every moment.

One such night, I was enjoying my series, when there was a soft knock at my door. I dismissed it thinking it was not at my door as not a single soul in the city knew my address. The knock persisted, that's when I stopped my show and sat up straight! It felt like a very determined knock and I cross checked my theory of any possible visitors — it was impossible to get a visitor and moreover it was close to midnight ! The main door of my apartment had two locks and I would only turn the knob above the handle, I had never locked the door . My body froze, I did not know if the door was really locked by this simple act of turning the knob! The knocking did not stop, it was still gentle but it continued to get longer and the gaps between the knocks were getting shorter. I dint move an inch, I did not want to make any sound. I was hoping that who ever was there would walk away.

After almost close to twenty minutes, the knocking seemed to have stopped .I cursed myself for being so causal in a new city and vouched that never again would I be careless with personal security.

The next day, I couldn't shake off the thought from my head — nobody knew where I lived and who would knock for twenty mins at someone's door. At lunch, I brought it up - narrating the whole incident. Two colleagues of mine were very intrigued and advised me to be careful as that infamous place was indeed very unsafe. This conversation deeply unsettled me and I vowed to be careful and to start looking for a new place at the earliest ( The agreement required me to serve a notice of three months and I decided to hand in the notice at the starting of the upcoming month)

That evening, my two lunch colleagues called me for a Fika .We spoke about common things from our side of the world and we bonded. I felt joy after a very long time. It felt good to not have to just go home once work would get over. Over the course of the next two-three weeks they would always invite me to join for lunch and coffee. They had become friends and in my head, I was beginning to think that I have met some amazing humans after a long period of time.

Meanwhile at home, I was putting an additional effort to ensure my doors were locked and to be vigil while moving around in the area. And after a few days had passed since the initial incident, I dismissed it thinking that it maybe was a mistake after all.

I was awoken by something being thrown with a loud thud, I sat upright and checked the clock- it was 3 a.m. I sat still to hear again and there it was. Something massive was been thrown at the wall from the other side — the next apartment. It was accompanied with shrieks and it seemed that of a woman. I made every effort to concentrate, my mind was still in deep slumber .It took me a while to understand that the screeches were the same word over and over again . There were muffled attempts to quieten her but it continued. My gut told me that something was horribly wrong here. I was shivering and dived inside my blanket laying still and trying to listen.

To be continued in " The Stockholm Escape — The Run".